Witchfest International, Croydon
You might have expected "the largest gathering of witches in the world" to meet somewhere spooky, like Salem, Transylvania, or even Whitby. But no, this annual celebration of the otherworldly and occultish takes place in – wait for it! – Croydon. Modern-day Morgan Le Fays can enjoy talks by Wiccan history expert Ron Hutton and Most Haunted's David Wells, plus there'll be workshops in wand-making, "astro dating" and even morris dancing. Pick up a potion at the "esoteric market" and shake your pentagrams to music from goth favourites Inkubus Sukkubus (pictured). Thankfully, England's last witch execution was way back in 1684, so there's no risk of being burned at Croydon power station.
Fairfield Halls, Sat
Colette Bernhardt
As If It Were The First Time, London, Bristol & Liverpool
Bringing a mischievously artistic edge to the idea of the flashmob, this participatory sound and performance piece from Duncan Speakman invites couples to congregate at secret locations in London, Bristol and Liverpool on consecutive evenings, where they will be immersed in a filmic altered reality. With headphones donned, the crowd will work at the behest of an MP3 file and the voices that come to them, which will be subtly different for various groups within the larger mass. Working with Sadie Anderson of Chrome Hoof, Speakman has created what should make for a disorienting night's entertainment for those who are game enough to sign up online and take part.
Secret locations, London, Thu, 6pm; Bristol, Fri, 5pm; Liverpool, 14 Nov, 4pm
Iain Aitch
Crunch 09: The Art Festival At Hay, Hay-on-Wye
Subtitled Art In An Ephemeral Age, but far from a throwaway programme, taking in art, music, spoken word and heavyweight panel discussions. It all kicks off with The Paper Cinema, a beautiful, magical and surreal blend of film and hand-drawn puppets. The debate strand takes in artist Richard Wentworth and historian Marcus Quint, but look out for a live outing from oddball art-punk hero Richard Strange (pictured), whose latterday acting career has seen him veer wildly between working with Martins Scorsese and Clunes.
Various venues, Fri to 15 Nov
Stuart Goodwin
OUT AND ABOUT
Saturday to 14 Nov, Folkestone
Book Festival
Vic Reeves, Brian Keenan and – er – Susie Dent from Countdown's dictionary corner in a week of talks, readings and workshops.
Various venues, call 01303-858500
Saturday, Sunday; Thursday to 15 Nov, London, Birmingham
MPH/Top Gear Live
New and classic cars, plus Clarkson, Hammond and May salivating over fast, shiny things and calling clunkier, less shiny things rude names.
Earls Court, SW7, Sat, Sun; NEC, Birmingham, Thu to 15 Nov, call 0871-230 5588
Saturday, Sunday, Maidstone
Leeds Castle Firework Spectacular
Seriously impressive pyrotechnics in a seriously beautiful setting.
Leeds Castle, £16, age 4-15 £10, under 4s free, call 01622-880008
Friday to 15 Nov, London
MasterChef Live
Cook-offs hosted by John Torode and Gregg Wallace, plus the chance to sample signature dishes from the likes of Launceston Place, and Boxwood Cafe.
Olympia, W14, call 0844-579 3183
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