The world's most stupid criminals

The history books are full of stories of great criminal masterminds. Al Capone, Ronnie Biggs and Carlo Gambino, to name just a few. But for every perfect murder and every miraculous getaway, there are thousands more crimes that fall flat, due to the sheer stupidity of the perpetrators. Check out the top 10...

1. Alejandro Martinez has to win for jaw-dropping stupidity. Having just completed a job application form at a pizzeria in Las Vegas, he decided to rob the place. He got away with $110 but was quickly tracked down by police using the name and address on the form.
2. Police didn't have too much trouble finding Eric Nolan after he ran off into woods having broken a court order. They simply called his mobile phone and listened out for the ring-tone.
3. Mugging people in one of the UK's most popular jogging locations is asking for trouble. Experienced marathon runner Glyn Roberts came to the aid of a victim on Hampstead Heath in north London and gave chase - for two miles. The bewildered mugger eventually fell to his knees and begged for mercy. He didn't get it.
4. Having missed their ferry, two men stole a trawler from Holyhead to get them back to Dublin. Unfortunately, they were rather worse for wear and after two hours going round in circles, worked out how to use the radio and sent out a Mayday.
5. Members of a bowls club in Christchurch, New Zealand arrived to find the trophy cabinet smashed and looted, with the criminal hiding in the ladies loo. The plucky pensioners duffed him up before calling police.
6. In Delaware, USA, Brent Brown robbed an 18-year-old pizza delivery girl and was then captured after he called and asked his victim for a date. She declined but gave the number to police.
7. A man from Indiana gave local police officers a wrong name after being stopped for a driving offence, but was caught out after they noticed his real name, Cecil, tattooed on his neck.
8. Using a stolen letter for a medical appointment might work as an alibi; unless you're a man and the appointment is with a gynaecologist. The culprit was duly delivered - to police.
9. A drug dealer in Florida was arrested after approaching a uniformed police officer in a marked police car and offering to sell him crack.
10. Three members of the Women's Institute in Herstmonceux, East Sussex successfully campaigned for a speed camera. In the following weeks, all three ladies were snapped and fined £60.

Read more in Thick Villains by Simon Vigar in association with Heart Breakfast (Portico Books, £6.99)