The case against Determinedly post-industrial. Dark and rainy. Traffic flows endless along the valley floor. Chronic slugs, too, I'm told. Bring salt.
Well connected? Go green: leave the car at home. That said, the M62's a half-hour away in Rochdale. Trains: to Manchester Victoria, three or so an hour, 30-40 minutes; to Leeds, two-three hourly, an hour; to Bradford, twice hourly, 30-40 minutes.
Schools Primaries: Walsden St Peter's is the pick – "good", says Ofsted, with some "outstanding" features; Todmorden CofE Junior and Infant is also "good". Secondaries: Todmorden High is "adequate", though standards "are rising".
Hang out at… The cafe at The Bear co-op, swapping slug-eradication tips over a fair trade decaf cappuccino.
Where to buy Really good period property, from 17th-century barns and 18th-century cotton warehouses to gorgeous stone cottages. Semi-rural positions up the slopes, like Lee Bottom Road, or Victorian villas and semis in the Hollins or Woodlands Ave, seem choicest. Stone terraces around Wellington and Victoria Roads are great value for four-beds.
Market values Big barn conversions, farmhouses or detached period houses, £450,000-£600,000. Three- or four-bedroom detacheds, £180,000 (two-bed period or three-bed modern) to £450,000. Semis, £150,000-£400,000. Terraces, £65,000-£250,000 (four-bed posh), though mostly £125,000-£180,000.
Bargain of the week Four-bed Victorian detached villa beside canal (with mooring rights), needing full modernisation, £168,000, with Anthony J Turner (01706 839595).
From the streets of Todmorden
Nichola Clarke "I love the atmosphere; we're slightly too far from administrative centres to be quite under control. The only bad thing: the local education system includes some grammar schools, so some opt for selection at age 11."
Christopher Furminger "Rendezvous cafe/bar is a comfortable place to enjoy great food, excellent coffee and locally brewed organic beer."
Nick Green "People talk to each other. It can be a bit bumbling at times, but there's a fantastic, vibrant can-do attitude: live here if you want to get stuck in."
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