Work ethics

Work ethics

The problem

One of my workmates, a really good friend, is leaving the company - and I'm nervous about her leaving do. I've been asked to make a speech and I am getting conflicting advice from my colleagues. Some say I should keep it strictly professional and talk about her work achievements. Just as many say I should cram it full of jokes and embarrassing anecdotes. Which style is best?

The worker's viewWill Rogers, marketing manager

Matching your material to your audience is paramount. Go for brevity over length and highlight your colleague's unswerving loyalty to the cause, touching on a few choice characteristics you know have resonance within the office. Underline the positive contributions she has made since arriving and if there is a particularly racy anecdote, refer to it by all means, but do so in jest and move on. You can always tell the over-18 version in the pub later, when the atmosphere is more relaxed.

Most of those in attendance won't know this person as well as you - and will spend the time trying to maximise their bucks fizz intake to help while away the afternoon. As a personal friend, you know this person best -your speech will reflect this if you follow your mother's advice and "just be yourself".

The etiquette expert's viewRachel Holland is the founder of Rachel Holland Associates (01980 610180) rha-manners.co.uk

Keep it professional and keep it sincere. A leaving speech should celebrate your colleague's.....continued below

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achievements and contributions to work. You can recount a humorous event but never confuse this with humiliation. You don't need to talk about personality. Instead you can sum up that person's legacy to the company - the difference that they have made. A leaving speech is the most suitable time to bring these things up and to say thank you, you've done well.

The leaving speech should be made in the office and then the anecdotes can come out in the pub afterwards. If you want to liven up your speech, you could try collecting comments or photographs from other colleagues and maybe ask your friend what her highlights have been - so you know what she would like you to talk about.

You can use humour but there is no need to make personal jokes. A leaving speech is an opportunity for reflection - not a best man's wedding speech. You should talk about where your friend is going next: a new job, a career change or retirement. If you really know your colleague, you won't need to resort to low humour.

guardian.co.uk © Guardian Newspapers Limited 2008