Work ethics

Work ethics

The problemI need help. It has got to the point where I want to hide in the toilets when I see the envelope approaching my desk. I never know how much to put into the collection. Do birthdays demand a bigger contribution than maternity leave - or vice versa? If I don't really know the person is it better to give nothing than throw in a few coppers? I'm not stingy, just confused.

The worker's viewEmma Hamilton, public affairs officerWe have cut out collections at my office by having a birthday scheme - everyone contributes £30 at the start of the year and it's topped up by the organisation so there's a fund for birthday presents. If you don't want to participate you can opt out. This seems to work pretty well.

Having been responsible for buying gifts in the past I'd say that chucking in a few coppers is bad form - if you can't afford to contribute, don't. If you don't want to contribute ... well that's something else. But if you choose not to participate then a) don't get peeved when you don't get a birthday present and b) don't be surprised if you get a reputation for being a curmudgeon.

I think anything under £1 is too little; I'd usually put £1.50 to £2, or maybe more if it was for a good friend. Perhaps a good rule for collections is "do as you would be done by".

The etiquette expert's viewRachel Holland is the.....continued below

Advertisement starts

---

---

Advertisement ends

founder of Rachel Holland Associates (01722 324953)rha-manners.co.ukThere are two solutions to this problem. Which one you choose depends on the size of the company that you work for. In a large company, you can ban the birthday. This means you bring in your own cake, there is no need for a collection and the celebration is up to the individual. For a larger event such as a wedding, personnel should provide a voucher and perhaps you can organise a small collection among the staff to top it up.

A smaller company should be more intimate and supportive anyway. The employer should provide a gift or a cake to celebrate an employee's birthday. Once you have more than three people in an office it is best to stock up on birthday cards in advance and then there will be no need for collections. After all, collections can be a form of bullying and are totally impersonal. Your personal finances are up to you. That pound might mean a lot to you, especially in the current economic climate, when money is tight.

If you are faced with a collection my advice would be to put in a pound and that's it - or £2 if you feel warmly.

guardian.co.uk © Guardian Newspapers Limited 2008