How to sort out your wedding budget
With the average wedding costing around £16,000 these days it has become very important to work out how to save money. And some people don't want to or can't spend that kind of money on just one day so want to get married on a shoestring. We have lots of advice on how to save money.
Before you start planning your wedding sit down and talk to your partner and your parents about a realistic budget. Have a look at our article on organising a wedding budget. Then you need to discuss what it is that matters most to you about the day - having everyone you want there or a glitzy venue. Is it worth spending more on photos and videos as they are the permanent reminder and less on flowers or invitations? Does it has to be a Rolls Royce or would a taxi do? Agree on your priorities and where you would be willing to sacrifice or compromise. Don't get caught up in any kind of keeping up with the Joneses comparing your wedding to those of friends and family. It doesn't have to be bigger or better - it just has to be a wedding you are happy with.
Think about what you remember about other weddings you have been to - it is highly unlikely that you will remember it because they had matching printed matchbooks and serviettes. It is more likely that you will remember the funny speeches and the fact that you danced for hours - generally it is the people that make the day.
But whatever you decide we can help you save money on your wedding.
Get friends and family to help
One of the simplest ways to save is to get talented friends to help. Do you know someone who is a brilliant cook and can make your wedding cake? Have you got an artistic friend who would be happy to design the invitations or do the flowers? Do you know someone who always takes brilliant photographs or could make your or the bridesmaids dresses? Think through your contacts and ask for their help. They can perhaps offer their services in lieu of a wedding present with you paying for the fabric or flowers or ingredients. And the personal touch can make the day even more special as it will be someone doing something out of love or friendship and this will make the day even more special.
Stationery
With most people having a computer these days be artistic and design and print your own wedding invitations. You can always buy heavier paper or card to make it look more professional from good art shops. Besides the invites you can also print orders of service, menus for tables unless the venue provides these. If you ask your boss nicely they might let you use the office printer if it is of better quality than your own home printer.
Venues
Venues tend to charge far more for Saturdays so if you can get married during the week you can save a lot. Likewise, there are key seasons and spring and summer weddings are very popular so you might find you get a better deal if you get married in autumn or winter.
If you are not opting for a religious wedding and are looking for a civil ceremony make sure you check out the local Registrar's office. In the light of all the competition for weddings many councils have vastly improved their Registrar's offices so before you decide on an expensive licensed venue for the service make sure you consider nearby possibilities. In addition to saving on the venue you will find the Registrar charges far less for their services - for example one London Council charges �271.50 Mon-Sat and £358.50 for Sundays and Bank holidays to conduct a service at approved venues but if you get married on the council's premises the fees are Monday - Thursday £78, Fridays - £98 Saturday - £155. So you see you can easily save a couple of hundred pounds. Different councils charge different amounts so check the local charges and if they have more than one room they might offer different rates for different rooms.
Also opting for a Registry office for the ceremony can give you a far wider choice of venue for the reception so you are more likely to be able to find a good deal. It could be anything from a local community or village hall to a room over a pub to your favourite restaurant or bar. Places licensed for weddings can charge a premium for the convenience of having the ceremony and reception in the same place.
Make sure you know exactly what is included in the hire price. Some venues may charge for the room and then charge extra for tables and chairs on top.
Very occasionally some venues will have last minute bookings at a discount - when they have an unbooked date they will try to get it booked even if at a bargain price. If you do this you have to be very organised very quickly though.
For a smaller wedding another option to consider is renting the exclusive use of a hostel for a weekend during the winter or spring www.rentahostel.com There are properties all over the country - including a Scottish Castle and a former railway station and facilities have been improving over the years. You can get some caterers to organise the food and your guests don't have to stagger very far to bed. Some are now three star with family rooms rather than dormitories - but even so your guests would need to muck in.
If you have a big garden and opt for the marquee their hire can often be really expensive. One good trick is to ask your local scout group if they have any large marquees that they are prepared to hire out to make money when they are not using the equipment. Many do so at a much lower cost than the marquee companies. The only downside is that they can be a delightful shade of khaki, but you can of course have decorations inside that can help lift the mood.
Brides and Bridesmaids
There are several options in terms of not spending a fortune on a wedding dress. Do you have a talented friend who is brilliant at needlework and could make the dress or could you find a decent skilled dressmaker willing to do it. This can often work out far cheaper than a dress from a specialist wedding shop.
You need to shop around when choosing a dress - prices for the same dress can vary greatly between stores. And if you are planning a long time in advance even bridal stores have sales to clear out old stock to make way for new styles so keep your eye out for any special offers.
It is also worth looking in the bigger branches of high street shops like Monsoon, BHS and Debenhams for both the bride and bridesmaids and in their specialist sections. And don't just look at the bridal dresses, if you are opting for a colour like ivory or pale gold you can find suitable bridesmaids dresses that will suit a bride who prefers the unfussy look. Also consider their evening wear which is elegant enough to be worn as a wedding dress, particularly if your taste in dresses is not for the meringue. This is particularly useful if you want a dress that you can wear again for formal occasions without it looking too bridal. Camilla Parker Bowles quickly wore her slightly altered wedding outfit for an appearance on the Buckingham Palace balcony for the Queen's birthday celebrations. So think about whether you want to choose a dress you can wear again.
Talking of bridesmaids, a simple and obvious way of keeping the costs down is by not having too many. But beware this can possibly be tricky because of the expectations of friends and family so you may need to tread carefully so you don't disappoint or upset anyone.
For dresses for all the bridal party consider checking out eBay - it has lots of brilliant bargains. If you are going to opt for this route you do have to be really careful about making sure you buy the right size. Different brands have different sizing and you need to be really careful about measuring and getting the correct size. Most sellers will give you guidance about this and may strongly recommend that you have your measurements taken by a professional before buying any gown online. Small variations in all wedding gowns are to be expected. And you might also be able to find that one that fits you well and have it altered by a local seamstress to fit you perfectly. If you have any worries about sizing get in touch with the seller giving them your exact measurements and asking for their advice. If they are widely stocked in shops perhaps consider checking out what you look like in the dress in a shop and then buy it cheaper online.
But as with buying anything on eBay you need to be careful that the seller you are dealing with is not shady.
Don't forget that if you are not planning on keeping your wedding dress you should be able to sell it and recoup some of the cost.
If you are really broke then have a look in the classified ads in your local newspaper and think about looking for a secondhand dress. You can also have a look at specialist shops selling second hand or sample wedding dresses online such as http://www.thedressmarket.net/ (Remember they generally have only been worn once!) Another option is to try Oxfam shops with a specialist bridal departments.
Don't forget the old wedding superstition of something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue. Why not make your something borrowed the wedding tiara or headdress of a friend who bought theirs.
If you feel that buying a dress is an unnecessary expense as you will never wear it again and it will just clutter up your wardrobe then why not hire a dress. When thinking about hiring a bridal gown always take into consideration that the majority of wedding dresses require alterations to the dress so that the bride looks her best on the big day. But remember that not all brides need full alterations. Alterations may need to be made to the hem, side seams, straps etc, but generally the hire shop will assess and discuss this with each bride-to-be on a one-to-one basis and will charge for any alterations in addition to any quoted hire prices. Don't forget with most hire places wedding dresses are available on a first come, first served basis, so make sure you book early so you don't miss out on the dress of your dreams. And don't just look at specialist wedding hire places as those who hire designer evening gowns may also have something suitable. If you can't face the idea of hiring your wedding dress why not consider hiring the bridesmaid's dresses.
And one final option - if your mum kept her wedding dress and you are a similar size and you like the dress you could consider wearing that.
Menswear
The style of your wedding will determine the costs here. Do the groom, best man, father of the bride and all the ushers really need to be in formal morning dress? Do they all have to have matching waistcoats made by the same dressmaker who is making the dress? Or will suits suffice? Do they all have to have matching ties or will you mind them wearing their own favourite ties. Hiring is very common option for formal groom's clothing so shop around and find the best deal you can.
Cars
The cheapest option is not to hire special cars to get you to the church or the reception but use your own or a friends - just try to make sure the car you use has four doors as getting out from the back seat in a full bridal outfit could be slightly tricky in a three-door model. Make sure the vehicle is sparkling clean and you can add some ribbons and some flowers on the back shelf to make it look more bridal.
Another option is to arrive in a taxi - and some firms have more upmarket cars than others. Arrivals by black or white London-style cabs can be a brilliant cheap option - plus there is always tons of space for the dress.
And don't forget there is always the option of walking if the venue is nearby. Passers by just love seeing the bride and groom.
The reception
It is only in recent years that a traditional "wedding breakfast" has turned into an all day event. Traditionally only close members of the couple's family attended the wedding and meal afterwards. You could get married in the morning, have a meal at the reception - the traditional wedding breakfast - and then leave for your honeymoon. This is what our parents did.
So one option is to have a very small family wedding and go out for a fabulous meal and then throw a party for all your friends after you get back from your honeymoon. You can choose a different kind of venue for this kind of party - a pub may let you have a room for free providing you guarantee a certain number of people. This kind of venue also makes it easier for everyone to pay for their own drinks without you being expected to foot the entire bill.
If you want the one-meal option for all your guests you can do this in a classy way by having an early wedding, the meal could literally be a wedding breakfast with scrambled eggs and smoked salmon or a full English served with Bucks Fizz. Then set off on your honeymoon. Get married early afternoon, have a traditional-style tea with cucumber sandwiches and scones and jam and cream and then forgo the evening reception and disco. Or get married late afternoon and sit down to dinner. Again this means that you only have to provide one meal for your guests. You can easily indicate the time you expect your reception to end by clearly stating it on the invitation - whether you opt for the old-fashioned "Carriages at Xpm" or go for a more modern approach that helps point out that it is not an all day event. E.g. you are invited to the wedding and subsequent wedding breakfast/lunch and so on.
Decide on whether you are inviting all guests to both the wedding and reception or if you are going to invite some acquaintances just to an evening reception only. Make sure that this is OK with the venue - as they will be strictly governed by fire regulations as to the safe numbers of people in the rooms you have hired.
Don't feel bullied by caterers or venues into having a gourmet spread if that is not your thing. Remember Kate Winslet's first wedding was sausage and mash down the pub. Just think you could have fish and chips or sausage and mash - it could keep the costs down and would be very memorable for guests - different from the usual salmon or chicken. If they are good caterers they should be able to come up with a suitable menu at the price you want.
Don't forget the self catering option - which also harks back a generation or two. If you do hire the church or community hall you could organise the catering yourselves. But you would probably need an awful lot of help with the preparation and a very large freezer.
You may also need to hire crockery, cutlery, tableclothes and glasses depending on what your venue can offer you. You will also need very good friends to clean the place up afterwards as you will have been whisked off by this point. And they one thing you musn't skimp on when preparing the food yourself are the hygiene and temperature controls - no-one wants their wedding to be memorable because most of the guests ended up with salmonella poisoning afterwards. A good option if you opt for a more traditional menu is to select the kind of wedding cake that you can serve for pudding which saves paying for both. Many brides now opt for sponge or chocolate cake rather than the traditional fruit cake. And no-one would take away a slice of chocolate cake and put it under their pillow hoping to dream of their husband to be! Some couples are stealing the idea of the French wedding cake a croquembouche which is a giant towering heap of profiteroles held together with spun sugar. Another very fashionable alternative for a wedding cake is individual fairy cakes - either heaped up or decorated individually but pushed together to give the overall appearance of one big cake.
Another alternative to cutting costs on a wedding cake is to buy an undecorated celebration-size cake from somewhere like Marks & Spencer and decorate it yourself. You could use fresh flower if you aren't a dab hand with the icing bag. You only have to search the internet to find inspiration from the professional cake makers and you can adapt designs to suit your theme and artistic skills.
If you want a very non-traditional wedding reception and you are planning it for the summer then why not go for something really different and consider a barbeque or a picnic in the countryside or on a beach - your only worry would then be the weather.
Decide what you are going to do about drinks - you could consider paying only for the welcome drink at the reception the wine with the meal and the champagne for the toasts, plus some soft drinks, and if anyone wants anything else they can pay for it themselves or put a certain amount of money behind the bar and once that is gone then guests will have to pay for themselves. This means that the person footing the bill won't be taken advantage of by people freeloading and ordering triple scotches. Most guests won't object as they know just how expensive weddings are.
If you are having a welcoming drink at the reception think about possibly choosing a punch or a cocktail - something that means an amount of expensive alcohol will be stretched further by being diluted with cheaper soft drinks such as lemonade or soda. It will also help your guests stave off.
Check whether your venue will allow you to bring your own wine and champagne and what corkage they charge and then go off on a booze cruise to France and stock up on supplies.
If you do opt for using the reception's wine and champagne make sure you get a sober person to check the exact number of bottles served and drunk. It is quite easy to be overcharged here.
Flowers
You needn't spend a fortune on flowers if you are careful. If you are getting married in church then if you piggyback a special time of year such as Easter then you may find that the church will already be decorated. You could also find out whether anyone else is getting married on the date you have chosen and share the costs of the flowers between you.
Try to choose flowers that are in season at the time you are getting married, they will generally be cheaper. They will also suit the time of year brilliantly. Don't turn your nose up at daffodils in the Spring for instance, that shock of yellow can be stunning.
If you have a fabulous garden and are getting married at the right time of year you could have garden flowers on each table and for the bouquet and buttonholes, or during the winter you could just have greenery such as ivy or holly and pine cones artistically arranged.
The bride might choose to carry one single stunning flower, or romantically a single rose or perhaps if aiming for a younger funkier look a single gerbera and then the tables at the reception could echo the theme with a single flower on each table.
Bear in mind you don't have to have a flower arrangement on every table at the reception - you could opt for things like table confetti and candles. Remember how crowded tables get with lots of cutlery, plates and glasses so it may be sensible not to clutter the tables too much anyway. If you do choose flowers remember the guests want to be able to talk to one another even across the table so small displays are more practical and hopefully less expensive.
Other decorations
If you are having balloons to decorate your reception buy them and get them blown up at your local card shop that offers such a service - if you get someone to come to the venue it will cost you an arm and a leg by comparison - some companies will charge more than �100 to attend the venue. You can get one of the ushers or friend or family member to go and do this on the day of the ceremony. Or you can buy complete balloon kits on the internet which also include the helium. They generally also give good advice on how to arrange the balloons to create an attractive decoration.
If you do decide on wedding favours - and they are not compulsory - then be a bit creative, have Love Hearts instead of chocolates or some bubbles to blow. They needn't cost an arm and a leg.
Photographer/Videographer
It is not always a wise thing to skimp on a photographer as relying on snapshots taken by guests has certain risks. But consider whether you need formal photographer for whole day.