Search: The role of money in relationships
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The love of money may not be the root of all evil but it's certainly a major cause of rows - a survey by Ipsos MORI for CreditExpert, the credit monitoring and identity fraud protection service from Experian, found that 26 per cent of couples argue about financial matters.
For one in 20 of us, the arguments are so bad that we break up. Younger people and couples with children are most likely to disagree, while almost one in ten of us are so scared that our other halves will disapprove of our spending that we lie about money and hide bank and credit card statements.
What lies at the heart of these problems is not money itself but our attitudes to it and the priorities we set for our spending. Our basic approach is usually formed by our families, the values we were brought up to observe and, to some extent, the amount we have now.
Essentially, we all fall into one of three categories:
• Spenders believe money is for enjoying, life is for living today - money's no use when you're dead, so you might as well spend, spend, spend.
• Savers see money as security. They will spend on the essentials for a reasonably comfortable life but would rather save, buy a home and build up a pension fund than indulge in luxuries.
• Sharers take pleasure in using money to make others happy and share experiences, gifts and outings with them. They often support charities if they have any spare cash.
If your Valentine has a different attitude to money to you, you're likely to argue about it at some point, so here's how to choose the right money match and help keep your love alive:
Spenders
If your partner is another spender, you'll be happy until the money runs out and you have to face reality. Your attitude will really distress a saver, while a sharer could find you selfish.
Ultimately, you have to curb your spendthrift tendencies or you could end up with nothing. Your first step is to take a look at your free Experian credit report, which lists the credit you have taken out and how well you're managing your repayments.
Then you can take action to ensure that the credit keeps flowing - perhaps roll up a few debts into a single, more cost-effective loan (making sure you don't pay more over time) or close down some under-used accounts. And talk to your lenders if you realise you're in trouble - they may help you to work out a new schedule of repayments that you can afford.
You should also discuss how to manage your spending habits with your partner and come to a sensible arrangement of how much money you have each month for your treats. Remember, if you share a joint account or mortgage, you become financially linked so it pays to be upfront or you could lose out on much more in the longer term.
Savers
Your nightmare would be to discover that the joint account was in the red, so a spender isn't the best Valentine for you. If you take up with another saver, life will be stable but there's a limit to the number of nights in with the TV that even the most prudent couple can take.
Perhaps the most interesting combination is with a sharer, who may be able to persuade you that a little generosity can make life more pleasurable.
Try to free up some extra cash - go to a price comparison site and look for lower prices on every essential such as utility bills and insurance. You could also research the more cost-effective deals on loans, credit cards or a mortgage.
As a saver, you take pride in keeping track of your finances and a free, 30-day trial of CreditExpert will allow you to check your credit report as often as you like. It lists your credit commitments and gives you a snapshot of how well you are managing with your repayments, so you are always in the know.
Then take a deep breath and get ready to spend some of what you've saved - you could even indulge in a romantic break with your loved one!
Sharers
Another sharer may end up in a competition with you to see who can be most giving. A spender's generosity is attractive until the money runs dry. A saver's caution is reassuring, unless it becomes tight-fistedness.
Your answer to this conundrum is to use your sharing characteristics - draw up a joint budget that allows both of you to do what matters most to you, at least some of the time.
