I caught my husband masturbating in the shower

My boyfriend prefers to masturbate

Question
I got married about three months ago. And I recently found my husband masturbating in the shower.

I felt betrayed and thought that he was doing this because I wasn't satisfying him.

I was very upset and hurt. What should I do?

Answer
Sorry you were so upset. Really your distress is unnecessary - and the sooner you accept that, the happier you will both be.

Any expert will tell you that most highly-sexed men – particularly young men – will often choose to masturbate despite being in good, sexually loving relationships.

This is how guys are. They tend to be more highly charged sexually than women, and they also tend to enjoy the quick, reliable and intensely centred orgasm they get from 'doing it themselves'. It's a fact of life.

So, most likely, the fact that your man might want to masturbate from time to time is nothing whatever to do with your sex life or your relationship. I am assuming that you have the normal, active sex life of a young married couple. If you don't, then that is a very different matter. But you don't hint at any difficulties.

So, if I were you, I would simply accept that this is how lots of men are. I hope that I have gone some way to reassuring you that all is well.

Yours sincerely

Christine Webber, sex and relationships expert