Would occasional anal sex lead to leakage?

What lubricants should we use for anal sex?

Question
My girlfriend isn't totally happy about anal sex. I truly enjoy it. She does not get pleasure from it. We only do it occasionally.

She has come across magazine articles which indicate that the rectal muscles can be damaged by occasional anal sex – to the extent that they will allow leakage of faeces.

She has a girlfriend who swears this can be the case. That has caused her some consternation, even though I have seen articles that contradict this assertion, indicating instead, that this sexual practice actually strengthens the muscles and sphincters involved.

Answer
David writes:

Women are generally much less keen on anal sex than men are. This isn't surprising as it can be very painful for the female.

Yes, it's true that regular rectal sex can make the anus 'gape' a bit, and that this can sometimes lead to soiling.

In STD clinics, I have often seen this slightly 'stretched' appearance in guys who have regularly been on the receiving end of anal sex.

You ask about 'occasional' rectal sex. Well, it depends what you mean by 'occasional'.

There is no worthwhile research on this at present. But my guess would be that 'once a year' would be fairly unlikely to damage the bottom – if carried out very gently. However, once a month might be a different matter.

I know of no evidence that this kind of intercourse actually 'strengthens' the muscles. That certainly seems most unlikely.

Christine adds:

Women who are frank with their girlfriends sometimes refer to anal sex as 'his birthday treat'.

In other words, for most women, this form of sex is something they 'allow' rather than enjoy.

By expressing her concerns about possible damage to the anus, I think that your partner is merely reinforcing her message to you that she really doesn't like anal sex, so I think that to pressurise her into it would be both unwise and unfair.

I don't know if you relish big objects stuck up your bottom, but frankly it's not everyone's cup of tea.

Yours sincerely

Dr David Delvin, GP, and Christine Webber, sex and relationships expert

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