Would a local anaesthetic cream delay my boyfriend's orgasm?

My girlfriend 'gushes' when she orgasms

She has problems reaching orgasm

Question
I have a lovely relationship with my boyfriend – and a super sex life. I have no problem climaxing – but only in the missionary position.

If we do it in other positions, my boyfriend can't last quite long enough for me. He does his best to delay his orgasm by taking short breaks when he's getting close, but I find that breaks my momentum too much – so I don't climax.

I need him to keep at it without breaks for just a little longer. So he has offered to try using a local anaesthetic on his penis, to improve his stamina without interrupting the action.

A lot of sex shops advertise desensitising creams, but some of these products look decidedly dodgy. I'm concerned that a gimmicky local anaesthetic might cause irritation or worse.

Also: can one use a local anaesthetic without condoms? Wouldn't it rub off on me too? We don't use condoms because (a) he's latex allergic, so we can only use the expensive non-latex ones, and (b) he's a tight fit and has said non-latex condoms are uncomfortably abrasive for him. So whatever cream we use has to be safe and not affect my sensitivity. Do you know of any products out there that would work for us?

Answer
I think you're quite right to be doubtful about using local aneasthetic products to delay your man's climax.

Allergic skin reactions to them do occur - and these reactions are ghastly! The victim gets intense soreness, redness, swelling and itching, which can take days to go away. Either of you could get such a reaction in your intimate parts.

In order to prevent the local anaesthetic affecting the woman, a lot of couples use a condom. However, I can't guarantee that the local anaesthetic wouldn't damage any condom you might decide to use.

Anyway, I think that all this talk of using creams is approaching the problem in the wrong way. In a nutshell, what's happening here is that your partner isn't lasting long enough for you.

There are simple ways of delaying male climax; have a look at the information on premature ejaculation as well as the one on 'Who to contact for sex therapy' – and try to get help with your problem of only being able to climax in one position.

Good luck.

Yours sincerely

Dr David Delvin, GP

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