I touch myself in my sleep

My boyfriend prefers to masturbate

Question
I'm male, age 26. My partner tells me that quite frequently she wakes up to see me asleep but masturbatiing or simply touching my genitals in my sleep.

I have no recollection of this, nor of any erotic dreams that might accompany this phenomenon.

She is very upset and disturbed by all of this.

Answer
David writes:

She needs to be realise that for many men it is normal to touch or grasp their genitals in their sleep.

Indeed, virtually all men get erections during the night. And because the hand is so near the penis, it would be surprising if the fingers didn't sometimes grasp the organ.

So there is nothing wrong with you – and you do not have a 'problem'.

Christine adds:

Your partner might be happier if she understood that the vast majority of men have a very loving relationship with their penises.

It sounds as if she thinks this is abnormal in some way – and maybe also resents it because she has some idea that her body should provide you with all the sexual comfort and relief that you need.

I hope she does provide a lot, but she can't be on duty 24 hours a day!

Many men in very happy relationships also masturbate from time to time. As for when they are asleep, well, this just happens.

Plenty of women caress themselves in their sleep too. And masturbate when they're awake as well. This is nothing to get upset about. It's just normal behaviour.

I do hope our answer will help you to reassure her.

Yours sincerely

Dr David Delvin, GP, and Christine Webber, sex and relationships expert