Scared about losing his virginity

First-time sex

I'm worried about having sex for the first time

Question
I'm a guy in my mid-20s, and my problem is that I have never had a sexual relationship with a girl before – only good friendships.

So I am still a virgin and I've got a lot of anxieties – like 'Will I be any good?', 'What if I ejaculate to soon', and 'will I be so nervous that I can't even get an erection?'

Also, I have never kissed in a sexual way before – so I'm scared that I'll mess it up and blow the relationship before it starts.

I think about this quite a lot and sometimes on rare occasions I stay awake all night worrying.

The main reason why I've found myself in this situation is because up until a few months ago I had no self-confidence and I wasn't comfortable with myself – but now that's changed and now I hope to experience my first sexual encounter.

Also, how do I go about telling the first girl that I'm still virginal white?

Answer
David writes:

Poor old you! Sorry to hear that you have these colossal anxieties. Please try not to be so alarmed. The odds are that everything will go just fine.

But I do suggest that you read some good books about how to have sex. You can get some from Amazon, or any other reliable bookselling firm on the Net.

Personally, I think it'd be a good idea to tell the lady in question that this is your first time – but we'll see what Christine says.

Good luck.

Christine adds:

I agree with David. I think it's extremely likely that this girl will feel enormously honoured that you have selected her as your very first lover. You could even say something like: 'No one has ever seemed special enough before for me to have full sex.'

Most women would respond very well indeed to that.

I also agree that you should read some books and I recommend you take a look on the Amazon website and see what they've got in the way of sex education manuals.

Frankly, I am quite sure that you've got nothing to worry about. Most of us were anxious about first-time sex before we finally tried it. I see you're 24, and you probably feel that you're a bit old to still be a virgin. But plenty of people keep hold of their virginity till much older than is commonly thought.

And most of them never regret that they didn't get into full sex earlier – and indeed make up for lost time!

Best wishes.

Yours sincerely

Dr David Delvin, GP and Christine Webber, sex and relationships expert

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