Content Starts Here

For women: things your Mum never told you about sex

print Health and Nutrition > Health Centres

For women: things your Mum never told you about sex

Written by Dr David Delvin, GP and family planning specialist and Christine Webber, psychotherapist

What did your Mum tell you about sex?

Even today, many British women say that they never got enough sexual information from their mothers (and fathers!). So no wonder so many UK females are less than satisfied with their love lives.

Here are four facts that you almost certainly weren't told by your mother. But knowing them could help you to a more enjoyable sex life.

Fact one: climaxing isn't that easy For most females, learning to climax is quite a difficult and time-consuming business. Nowadays, men tend to suggest to women that they should be able to reach orgasm very easily. The media â€“ and that includes romantic novels and erotic films â€“ often give the same impression.

Yet our research shows that the average British female doesn't start having reliable orgasms until about two years after she first has sex with a man!

However, there are many women who don't conform to this pattern: for instance, a lot of teenage girls learn to climax on their own - through masturbation - long before they ever go near a guy. But in general, the ability to 'come' has to be learned over a considerable period of time.

So if you haven't managed it yet, don't be downhearted â€“ as you almost certainly will get there. Some of our patients first 'rang the bell' when they were in their 40s!

Fact two: almost any woman can 'come'

Practically any woman should be able to have orgasms - and indeed multiple orgasms - if she really wants to.

Back in your mum's day, sex was still quite a taboo subject and talking about orgasms was even more taboo.

Even as late as the early 1990s, it was widely felt among middle-aged women that for a 'lady' to want orgasms badly wasn't quite 'nice'. And for her to want multiple orgasms was a bit outrageous!

Furthermore, when your Mum was young, many so-called 'experts' suggested that multiple orgasms were almost impossible for most females.

However, we now know that:

virtually any woman can have an orgasm - if her clitoris is stimulated long enough and expertly enough (and of course provided that she's in the right mood!).

similarly further intense stimulation after the first orgasm will usually produce another.. and another... and another...

We're not saying that you can achieve all this overnight but, if you stimulate your own clitoris for long enough over a period of time, you can eventually achieve as many orgasms as you like. Clearly you can also have multiple orgasms if you have a partner - male or female - who is devoted to giving you pleasure, and who you love and cherish.

Fact three: masturbation is OK

There is nothing wrong with 'do it yourself sex'.

Indeed, sex experts now agree that masturbation can be enormously useful in helping a woman:

to learn how to reach orgasm

to learn how to reach multiple orgasm.

So don't hesitate to go for it.

Fact four: oral sex is OK too

A generation ago, oral sex was widely considered to be something rather 'dirty'.

One of us worked with a professor of bacteriology who actually refused to process 'throat swabs' for sexually transmitted infections â€“ because he couldn't believe that people were doing such things â€¦

So your Mum probably didn't tell you that:

oral sex is a great help to many women in reaching a climax

it's very helpful to men who have erection difficulties

for a lot of people (admittedly, not everyone), it's jolly good fun!

If you haven't attempted it before, then can we assure you that it's well worth a try!

<<Back

The documents contained in this web site are presented for information purposes only. The material is in no way intended to replace professional medical care or attention by a qualified practitioner. The materials in this web site cannot and should not be used as a basis for diagnosis or choice of treatment. Conditions for use

© Copyright 1998 - 2004 NetDoctor.co.uk - All rights reserved