Who to contact for sex therapy
More and more people are seeking help with their sex lives.
Whether sex and relationship problems are on the increase, or whether numbers have grown because of people's willingness to seek help, is unclear.
What is clear is that if you have concerns regarding any area of your sex life, there are plenty of ways in which you can get assistance.
However, our research suggests that you may have to try pretty hard to get that help – particularly in areas of the country where therapists are rather thin on the ground.
Current NHS policy means there is very little money available for treatment of sex problems. So in most parts of the UK, you will probably have to pay for therapy or counselling.
We've put together a quick checklist of the best professionals and organisations to approach.
Your GP
For most issues, a good starting point is to visit your GP for a preliminary chat about your issues.
Speak frankly to your doctor about any problems you have.
Most GPs allow a maximum of 10 minutes per patient these days, but to start talking about sexual problems can take much longer. It might be a good idea to book a double appointment (usually 20 minutes), if this is permitted in your practice.
Your doctor may be able to offer you some immediate help. For instance, in recent years GPs have started prescribing erection drugs such as Cialis, Levitra and Viagra, although the government places severe restrictions on who can receive them.
If your family doctor can't help you, then he or she should discuss the viability of you getting free treatment on the NHS.
In large areas of the UK, no such free treatment is available. Nevertheless, your GP may know of private therapists in your region.
Family planning clinics
NHS family planning (FP) clinics used to be the main providers of psychosexual advice in the UK, particularly for women.
However, the current situation is that the clinics are mostly working under great pressure, so they tend to concentrate on their main job, which is providing contraception.
Many of the nurses and doctors do still have an interest in sexual problems, and will try to help you if time permits. They're particularly good with the following difficulties:
FP clinics make no charge for giving help.
NHS hospitals
In some areas of the country there are psychosexual units at large hospitals - London and Sheffield are relatively well off in this respect.
There is invariably a waiting list, but people eventually get seen and helped.
Treatment is free, but you will need to be referred by your GP.
Genitourinary medicine (GUM) clinics
GUM clinics treat sexually transmitted infections and can also help on all sorts of sexual issues.
They have good knowledge and lots of common-sense, although the doctors are not generally highly trained in psychosexual issues because their forte is diagnosing and treating infections.
There are concerns that waiting times for GUM clinics are growing, but it should be possible for you to see a doctor within two weeks and get some general advice. However, specialist psychotherapy and marriage guidance are definitely not provided.
All consultations are free.
NHS gynaecologists and urologists
The NHS should be able to help if a sex problem is essentially physical, for example a too wide vagina after childbirth or a bent penis.
Women are generally referred by their GPs to a gynaecologist and men to a urologist.
Some gynaecologists and urologists now provide psychosexual counselling services, and many urologists are prescribing erection-inducing drugs.
Treatment is free. Your GP should be able to advise you about who to go to and, most essentially, write you a referral letter.
Relate and Relate Scotland
Relate is not just a relationship counselling agency.
A number of Relate counsellors have specific psychosexual training, mainly in the school of Masters and Johnson.
So when you phone, make it clear that you are looking for sex therapy rather than marriage guidance.
Relate sex counsellors are highly rated for doing an excellent job in treating various 'technical' bedroom problems such as:
But they are not doctors, and therefore cannot examine you or prescribe medication.
Relate's fees are relatively modest and are means-based.
Relate Scotland (until recently known as Couple Counselling Scotland) does similar good work to Relate, but north of the border. The number of your nearest clinic will be in your local phone book.
Institute of Psychosexual Medicine
The Institute of Psychosexual Medicine is an organisation of family planning doctors who have had special training in sex problems, particularly:
Some work in family planning clinics; others treat clients privately. Some of the latter will see a patient without a GP's referral - but not all will do this.
Fees can be up to £120 an hour in the more expensive parts of large cities, so make sure you check beforehand.
British Association for Sexual and Relationship Therapy
The British Association for Sexual and Relationship Therapy consists mostly of non-medical personnel plus some doctors, all of whom have had extensive training.
The best way to find out about a therapist in your area is to email info@basrt.org.uk
Therapists charge fees, which vary greatly in different parts of the country. Consultations in Harley Street and similar areas are likely to be expensive.
Always check what the costs will be before booking yourself in.
Sexual Dysfunction Association (SDA)
Formerly the Impotence Association, the Sexual Dysfunction Association is a national charity that tries to help both men and women find a suitable therapist or clinic for sex problems. It doesn't provide treatment or see patients.
The documents contained in this web site are presented for information purposes only. The material is in no way intended to replace professional medical care or attention by a qualified practitioner. The materials in this web site cannot and should not be used as a basis for diagnosis or choice of treatment. Conditions for use
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