Sex after the menopause

The good news is that all these problems can usually be remedied - chiefly through commonsense advice from a doctor (or from a therapist who is experienced in dealing with menopause problems), together with sympathy, understanding and love from the woman's partner.

Also, there will soon be some new treatments which will allegedly boost a woman's libido.

Hormone replacement therapy (HRT)
'HRT' means giving natural or synthetic female sex hormones that replace the hormones which the woman is not producing enough of.

HRT comes in the form of tablets, patches or gels and always contains oestrogen (either in a natural or synthetic form), and often a progestogen as well. (A progestogen is similar in effect to the female hormone progesterone.)

HRT is extremely good for relieving menopausal symptoms like hot flushes, night sweats and vaginal dryness. Unfortunately, since about 2003 it has becomer increasingly clear that it is not as free from ill-effects as we had been led to believe.

However, if used sensibly, it can be a great help to many women – particularly where sex is concerned.

What does 'used sensibly' mean? Basically, it means following the current (2005) official UK guidelines - which are to take the lowest possible dose for the shortest period of time.

One particularly important use of a form of HRT is the application of hormone creams (or hormone-containing pessaries or rings) to the vagina to correct vaginal soreness and dryness. While ordinary sex lubricants – like K-Y Jelly, Liquid Silk and Pjur Woman – can be very helpful for making intercourse comfortable and satisfying, sometimes the prescription of a female hormone preparation is necessary.

So if your vagina and vulva have become a little dry or sore, it may well be worth asking your GP, Family Planning doctor or gynaecologist about preparations such as:

Please note that although these products are used for their 'local' (ie vaginal) effects, some of the hormone could be absorbed into your system. So there is a small possibility of side-effects elsewhere – notably in the womb.

Therefore, current (2005) advice is that these vaginal preparations shouldn't be used for more than three months without having a check-up, and possibly a change in medication.

Note: My own clinical experience is that these vaginal hormone products can sometimes improve urinary symptoms which occur round the menopause.

Making the most of the menopause
It is now known that women have much the same ability as men to enjoy sex. Indeed, many females are a good deal more highly-sexed than their partners!

Women also have the advantage of retaining their capacity to have several orgasms one after another until very late in life.

Young men are capable of frequent love-making, but as they get older they aren't able to do it so often.

Ironically, some women discover a renewed or even redoubled libido after the menopause, and sometimes report that their husbands can no longer keep up with their sexual demands. In these cases, buying a sex aid – such as a vibrator – can be a good idea.

For many postmenopausal women, the fact that their husbands take longer to reach a climax becomes a bonus; it makes love-making far more enjoyable than when they were younger and everything seemed to be over in a matter of breathless seconds. This more prolonged love-making can provide time for both partners to explore new sensations and enjoy a variety of feelings.

Touching and intimacy
After the menopause, touching and intimacy can sometimes become more important than the physical pleasure of penetrative sex. This need to touch and be touched, physically and emotionally, is well worth nurturing. Such contact offers reassurance and comfort and the opportunity to show tenderness, companionship and love.