Body language

Reviewed by Christine Webber, psychotherapist and Dr David Delvin, GP


Body language means communication with the movement or position of the human body. It can be conscious – or unconscious.

It is something that is noticed by everybody but is not always given enough attention. We sometimes ignore it and try to hide behind words, but we should never forget that we cannot fool everyone!

Children react to body language because they experience the world through intuition. The same can be true for adults when feelings are involved.

People who are in bad shape emotionally will often place great importance in it. In fact, they often pick up the smallest hint of a lapse in attention in the person they are speaking to. And they frequently jump to the conclusion that they are boring or a nuisance - thus compounding any sense of depression or poor self-esteem.

A way to learn the secrets of body language is to watch television with the sound turned off and try to interpret what is being said simply from reading body language. You will experience that humans say a lot with their mouth which is contradicted by their body, gestures and other channels of communication. Messages are ambiguous.

But a notable feature of the early years of the 21st century is the fact that the body language of different nations is gradually becoming more similar. Thus, a gesture made by someone in (say) South America can often be easily interpreted by people in Russia or Japan. Much of this is due to the effects of TV, which of course shows the same sort of 'soap operas' in all parts of the globe.

Words and body language
If a child is to believe the parents who say that it's healthy to go to bed early, it usually doesn't make much sense unless the parents express it with both words and body language. Otherwise, the child may get the impression that it is only good for the parents that the child is put to bed early.

It is important to remember that, although body language does give you an additional channel of communication, which sometimes contradicts the spoken word, it should be interpreted with care. For one thing, body language can be affected by particular habits of the speaker.

Apart from individual differences, there are also differences between geographical regions, as well as between cultural groups. For example, in Greece, you nod your head for 'no', and shake your head for 'yes'.

The human brain communicates to the body how it is to position itself. Body language is subconscious and is intended to create a balance between inner feelings and outer appearance.

If we develop increased sensitivity to our own body language, our ability to read others' body language is increased.

This makes it easier to tell whether a person you are talking to is happy, sad, sullen or irritated. Or whether he or she is lying to you, or is impatient, or bored.

You should also be able to register whether the person appears to like you, agrees or disagrees with you, is aggressive to you, or is suspicious, angry or worried.

Observing hidden feelings
Increased attention to body language will allow you to observe hidden feelings, prejudices and sexual intentions; all through your eyes and the other senses we use to perceive the world around us.

Body language is the movements of arms and legs, body posture, the manner in which you sit, facial expressions, gait, eye movements and regular gestures such as stroking your hair, touching your nose, etc.

Tilting your head signals that you are not dangerous. . This is claimed to be a consequence of your mother tilting her head when she pitied you as a child. She showed you that she wasn't angry at you but wanted to comfort you. Your mother also patted her hand or your head when she was comforting you. We continue to do this even after we've grown up and don't have our mother there to do so anymore. We pat ourselves on the cheek, on the arm, or rub our hands together.

Perhaps you hold your hands close to your face when you talk - generally, this is a sign of insecurity. The same is true if you roll a beard or moustache with your hands or fix your hair, perhaps pushing or curling it behind an ear.

Are you sitting comfortably?
The way that people sit in chairs is not coincidental. If you are lounging with arms and legs dangling, it is probably a sign that you are relaxed and feeling comfortable. If you are positioned on the edge of the chair with you legs stretched before you and your feet crossed it can signal indifference.

Example: in a country where rules of behaviour in court were very strict, a witness in a trial sat as described above, with his huge boots lumped on top of each other, wearing a big coat and with his arms crossed. The judge said: 'Sit up straight and take your coat off, or I'll hold you in contempt.'

The man got his posture straightened out in no time when he realised that he risked being fined.

Someone going to the dentist or waiting for a job interview might be seated on the edge of the chair with his or her feet together. If it's a woman she'll probably be hugging her handbag, or clutching a hanky. Body tension spreads to the respiratory system, forcing your breathing and making you sound short of breath. When you are in such a position it is easy to lose your head and simply run away if things take a turn for the worse.

Example During a biographical television show ('This is your life'), Danish entertainer Erik Clausen was the guest.

He is a very experienced entertainer and doesn't easily lose his temper.

When the host played a taped interview with Mr Clausen's mother during which she said that he had always cried as child when he lost Monopoly games, he did lose some of his cool.

During the rest of the show, his ears glowed like traffic lights.

Misunderstanding body language
When you try to interpret body language, you must interpret in relation to what is being said with words; otherwise misunderstandings can easily arise. It must be judged as a whole.

Several elements must be in accordance if you are to draw any firm conclusions about a person. He or she being insecure for example.

In order to reach your conclusion you must also pay attention to facial expression, the mouth's position, eye movements and pupil dilation and retraction.

Research has shown that the speaker's face is the most reliable source of information about the mood of a person.

It is through visual experiences that happiness, surprise, anger or contempt is communicated while auditory experiences communicate fear. In order to ascertain the mood of the speaker you must observe facial muscles..

• How they are tightened and loosened.
• How the lines around the mouth are softened.
• How the wrinkles around the eyes can make them shine with happiness when that is the feeling the face has to express.

. The same features express anger and contempt, while softer features are taken to express kindness and friendliness - but note: only if the feelings also extend to the eyes. A mouth that smiles without the eyes smiling as well sends signals of falseness and unreliability.

Eyebrows that rise up and down rapidly signal acceptance of social contact. If you raise your eyebrows and keep them raised for a while it signals surprise and astonishment - perhaps even indignation.

When the raised eyebrows are used along with a wink you are flirting. This can cause problems. For example, in Japan where it is considered very inappropriate, practically improper, to use eyebrow raising at all.

Tears and laughter are forms of expression that we think are fairly easy to interpret. However, tears are used to express many different things - sorrow, joy, and anger. Laughter can be a sign of happiness and friendliness, but also of contempt and sarcasm. Sometimes we also laugh if we are scared, or if we experience something very horrifying.

Occasionally, people who work with other people in the welfare or health sectors can happen to laugh if they learn of something particularly tragic - maltreatment, violence, or death. This is likely to be a response to protect their own sanity from the horror of many incidents they face in their work and may also stop them from breaking down and crying.

To be able to read body language is very interesting, but it can be complicated, so watch out! Mistakes can easily be made.

Finally, if you want to know more about body language, there are a number of good books on the subject – notably by Allan and Barbara Pease and also by Dr Desmond Morris.

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