Sleep problems in children

Reviewed by Dr Stuart Crisp, paediatric specialist registrar

Is it OK for a baby to sleep in the parents' bed?

A small child normally feels safest in the parents' bed. It is warm, cosy and there is company. Sometimes food is close at hand, too. Most children obviously prefer this to sleeping in their own bed in a quiet room, where they may feel lonely and deserted.

Whether the child is allowed to sleep in the parents' bed or not depends entirely on their attitude. Some people feel that it is inappropriate and that it disturbs a couple's intimate time together.

When a child has got used to sleeping in the parents' bed, it can be very hard to break this habit. So it is very important to discuss the consequences beforehand. For how long will this arrangement be comfortable and enjoyable for everybody? What about the parents' sex life? Is there room for everybody? What happens if or when the parents have another child? One compromise is to place the cot in the parents room. That way, the child can be close to its parents without actually sleeping in their bed.

Parents should do what feels right for them and their child. What is acceptable and 'normal' for one family may not be the same for others.

Can all children sleep through the night?

Most children learn to do this fairly quickly, but some children may not be able to sleep throughout the night, no matter what their parents do. If parents are worried about their child not sleeping, they should ask their doctor or health visitor for advice.

Is my child ill?

If you worry about your baby's sleeping patterns or have a feeling that something might be wrong with your child, talk to your doctor about it. Possible reasons for your child not being able to sleep throughout the night include urine infection, toothache, earache, colic, a cold or a cough.

Make sure nothing is wrong with your child before you start trying to change their habits.

Good advice

Bedtime should be enjoyable for everybody. You can read a story, give the child a cuddle or a warm bath, etc. Develop a routine and stick to it. Never use the bed as a punishment for your child when they have done something wrong. Put your child to bed before they get overtired. The child should feel good, both when it goes to bed and when it wakes up. It is OK if the child settles down slowly in the cot; it does not have to go to sleep immediately. Stroking the baby or rocking it (in a cradle or in your arms) will help to make them sleepy. Dim the lighting or turn the lights off when you put your child to bed.

Turn down the television, music and speak quietly.

Do not pick your baby up, if they cry, but stay with them. They should not cry themselves to sleep. Always comfort a crying child.

Letting your child sleep in your bed may start a habit, which can be difficult to break, but it is often an effective short-term method to help your child sleep.

Babies who cry a lot may also have problems that can be treated by a chiropractor.

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