Petting

Written by Dr David Delvin, GP and family planning specialist and Christine Webber, psychotherapist and lifecoach

What is petting?
Petting generally means stimulating another person's sex organs or breasts - usually with your hand or mouth. However, some people do use it in a slightly less 'rude'; sense, simply to mean 'cuddling' or 'snogging'.

It's actually an American word - originally meaning to stroke or caress (as one would stroke a 'pet' cat).

There was no equivalent word in 'polite' (British) English, so the US word 'petting' gradually became used worldwide during the late 20th Century and is still employed – particularly by middle-aged people. In fact, the expression 'petting' and 'to pet' have now become a little old-fashioned - so that in the UK it's now much commoner to speak of:

'touching someone up'

'frigging someone'

'rubbing someone up'

'bringing someone off' (if petting proceeds to climax).

All these are still slang expressions, and the only non-slang English expression is 'masturbating someone'. In practice, this phrase is hardly ever used - because of the fact that most people only employ the word 'masturbation' to mean self-stimulation.

Instead of saying 'petting', many of today's couples talk about 'love play'.

'Heavy petting' is an American expression that usually implies petting below the waist - rather than just involving the breasts.

What does it involve?
The idea of petting is to stimulate your partner's body, in order to give them sexual excitement.

Fortunately, this activity is also usually nice for the person who is doing the petting!

Petting (love play) very often continues until the partner who's on the receiving end actually climaxes.

Bringing someone to a climax by petting is often referred to as:

'bringing them off'

'fetching them off'

'tossing them off' (only used when the recipient is male).

Petting is often referred to in older books as 'foreplay' - meaning that it's something you can do before starting intercourse.

Doing it before intercourse is actually an excellent idea, because it prepares the body for actual penetration.

Indeed, nearly all women need plenty of petting before intercourse - in order to get their genitals 'ready'.

To be specific, petting before intercourse will:

make the vagina open up

make the 'love juices' flow

get the woman excited so that she really enjoys intercourse.

Failure to give enough petting before intercourse is one of the commonest male mistakes - and very often leads to sex becoming unsatisfactory for the woman.

Can you go in for petting without going on to intercourse?
Sure. Plenty of couples - particularly young ones - go in for petting 'sessions' for half-an-hour or an hour, but don't go on and have intercourse.