Delayed ejaculation (retarded ejaculation)

Written by Dr David Delvin, GP and family planning specialist

We want to have children. What if counselling doesn't work?

If the man cannot get to the stage where he ejaculates inside the vagina, couples can be helped to conceive by:

IVF (test-tube) techniques

artificial insemination (AI), in which a doctor injects the man's seminal fluid into the woman.

We know of couples who have tried 'self-insemination' without medical help. This involves getting the semen by masturbation and then putting it into the vagina.

There is something to be said for this approach, but some women who have attempted it have ended up with injuries to their cervix (neck of the womb). Do not use any sharp instruments.

There are numerous websites that have advice on self-insemination. Many of them are aimed at lesbians, but the information can be useful for any couple.

Where can I get help?

There is some NHS help available from psychosexual clinics. Your GP can refer you, if he knows of one.

Other organisations that can be of assistance include the following.

A few family planning clinics, but they're overworked these days and are unlikely to have the time to help.

Relate has excellent psychosexual counsellors.

Relate Scotland does similar good work to Relate, but north of the border.

British Association for Sexual and Relationship Therapy (BASRT) is an organisation whose members are trained in sexual counselling.

Institute of Psychosexual Medicine is another counselling organisation whose members are all doctors trained in psychosexual therapy.

Sexual Dysfunction Association.

There are also some private clinics, but only a few have any real experience in treating retarded ejaculation.

Can delayed ejaculation be cured?

Delayed ejaculation, also known as retarded ejaculation, is a frustrating and trying condition for both partners.

With some expert help and a determination to persist with therapy, it is possible to defeat it.

But if you cannot solve the problem, and are keen to have a baby, you should consider IVF or artificial insemination – especially if your years of fertility are running out.

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