Whether sex and relationship problems are on the up, or whether numbers have grown following people's willingness to seek help is unclear. What is clear is that if you have any concerns regarding any area of you sexuality, there are plenty of ways in which you can get help.

We've put together a quick checklist of the best approach to take.

Your GP
For most problems, a good starting point is to visit your GP. Speak to them about any problems you might have. It might be a good idea to book a 'double' appointment. Most GP's allow a maximum of 10 minutes per patient, but to start talking about sexual problems can take much longer. Your GP may personally be able to offer some help to you. If not, they should discuss the viability of you getting some help on the NHS. This treatment is free.

Family planning clinics
Family planning clinics are staffed by doctors (most of them female) trained in psychosexual matters. Most of these doctors are very easy to get on with, very relaxed and - it's good to know - have seen it all before! They are particularly good with problems like vaginismus, low libido, poor technique, difficulty reaching orgasm, premature ejaculation, ejaculatory incompetence and inability to conceive, etc. This treatment is free.

Hospitals
In some areas of the country - London is relatively well off in this respect - there are psychosexual units at large hospitals. There is obviously a waiting list, but people do get seen and helped. If you do get an appointment, it may be for some time in the future. Please try to summon up the courage to attend your appointment when you finally get one. Unfortunately, many people chicken out at the last moment. This kind of behaviour is not helpful to you - and is unfair to other people on the waiting list. The treatment is free, but you will need to be referred by your GP.

Genitourinary medicine (GUM) clinics
GUM clinics are very helpful on all sorts of sexual issues - they have good knowledge and lots of common sense, though the doctors are not generally trained in psychosexual issues.

The NHS
If a sex problem is essentially physical (eg a too wide vagina after childbirth or a bent penis) then the NHS should be able to help. Female physical problems are generally referred to a gynaecologist and male ones to a urologist. This treatment is free and your GP should be able to advise you.

Relate
Relate is not just a relationship counselling agency. A number of Relate counsellors do have specific psychosexual training. So, if you do opt for this route, make sure that you advise your local office of your requirements. Relate's fees are relatively modest and are means-based. Web: or get your local branch number from directory enquiries.

The Institute of Psychosexual Medicine (private organisation)
This is an organisation of doctors. Some will see a patient without a GP's referral, but not all will do this. Check out their website: . They also have an email address, ipm@telinco.co.uk which is good for enquiries. Phone number: 0207 580 0631.

The British Association for Sexual and Relationship Therapy (private organisation)
The British Association for Sexual and Relationship Therapy consists mostly of non-medical personnel, all of whom have had extensive training. The best way to find out about a therapist in your area is to email info@basrt.org.uk. Website: .

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