Adoption - a dignified alternative
Everyone who has adopted a child has asked themselves the question: 'Will it be possible for me to love an adopted child as much as I would love my own?' Those doubts almost always disappear the moment the child is handed over, and later on you will wonder how you could ever have been in doubt.

Adoption is a different way of having children. When a woman is pregnant, no more than nine months will pass from the moment the child is conceived until the birth. But she cannot be sure of getting pregnant or of completing the pregnancy successfully. Unhappiness can follow again and again. With adoption, unhappiness only comes from man-made obstacles.

What to do
If a couple want to adopt a child the first step is to contact an adoption agency, which will either be a local authority or an approved voluntary agency. Adoption agencies try to follow the wishes of the birth parents in matching the child to its new parents. Social workers from the adoption agency concerned spend a lot of time speaking with all the parties involved before the adoption is completed. The courts finalise the process by making an adoption order. The court does not make an adoption order until the child has been living with the adoptive parents for 13 weeks. This period does not begin until the child is six weeks old, so with babies it is effectively 19 weeks.

The birth parents are asked to agree to an adoption order being made. If they are married, both parents are asked to agree - if not, only the mother will be asked. The court appoints a reporting officer who ensures that the birth parents understand what adoption is about and witnesses their agreement to the adoption order being made. If the birth parents do not agree to the adoption, it is only likely to take place in special circumstances such as abandonment. In such a case a guardian may be appointed by the court to inquire into the situation. There can also be freeing orders made by the court that transfer the birth parents' parental responsibility to the adoption agency.

If the child's parents agree to the adoption taking place then the court hearing takes place. Lasting around half an hour, it involves the judge or magistrate reading a report prepared by social workers from the adoption agency and asking the adoptive parents a few questions. The decision is given immediately.

One of us has doubts
It is quite common for prospective adoptive parents to have doubts about whether they are doing 'the right thing' in adopting a child. If there are any doubts, it is a good idea to talk to the adoption agency concerned. It is through such contact that you get an insight into how other adoptive families work. There will be the chance to get answers to most of your questions; even on sensitive issues.

Who can adopt?
The law requires that people who adopt children must be over 21 and able to show that they are able to give the child the care they need. Few babies become available for adoption these days, so agencies can add their own conditions for selecting adoptive parents. For example, most agencies will only place babies with married couples who can prove they are unable to have children of their own. There can be an upper age limit of between 35 and 40 attached and some will not accept people who have been divorced. The marriage is usually expected to have lasted at least three years.

Financial support
Families can claim child benefit from the date on which the child is placed with them under adoption regulations. There may be allowances from adoption agencies if there are special needs for the child concerned, though this is likely to vary between agencies. In some circumstances, especially if the adoption agency is a local authority, a maintenance payment may be made between placement and an adoption order being made.

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