Make sex a priority.

Too tired for sex?
You're in love. You're an item. Everything's great - except for one thing. You haven't had sex for ages!

Perhaps you know exactly how long it's been since you made love. Maybe you prefer to forget. Almost certainly you're secretly appalled because you imagine that everyone else is at it like rabbits.

Relax! The fact is that masses of your friends and colleagues are also settling for a nightly peck on the cheek and the comforting clutch of a buttock as they wearily sink into oblivion. But they won't talk about it either.

The sad truth is that long hours and commuting have become the norm for most folk. But this kind of lifestyle leads to exhaustion. And exhaustion is the number one enemy of good sex. So what can you do?

You must make sex a priority.

You must schedule sex into your busy lifestyle.

You must MAKE time for it.

As a sex therapist, I can vouch for the fact that when people get out of the habit of loving, it can be extraordinarily difficult to get back into it. So use it - or lose it!

First you need to realise that living together - whether or not you're married - can take the anticipation out of sex. And anticipation is not just utterly delicious in itself; it's a useful tool for heightening your passion during the act - when you finally get to it.

Cast you mind back to those delectable days at the beginning of your relationship. Remember how you used to wander round in a cloud of desire when you knew you were going to meet up that evening? Can you recall your breathless excitement as you put on fresh, crisp sheets in the morning, hoping they'd be well rumpled before the night was through? Well, all that build-up makes for terrific sex. And it's hard to replicate it once you're sharing the mortgage and, supposedly, can 'do it' anytime. So think 'occasion'. Think 'variety'. Think 'naughtiness'. And - most of all - think 'TIME AND SPACE'.

Bananarama
Don't always leave your lovemaking till bedtime. After a meal and a bit of telly, the tiredness and strains of the day tend to catch up, leaving you with one desire only - to sleep.

So, have sex before dinner. Yes, once a week, come home and go straight to bed with a couple of bananas!

You eat the bananas, by the way, just in case you're wondering. They're full of uplifting potassium and will provide bags of energy where you need it most. Still, if you have other fruity options in mind, don't let me stop you!

Early evening sex is definitely wicked - and all the better for that - and afterwards, your flushed, leg-trembling satisfaction will turn even a boil-in-the-bag dinner into a romantic feast.

Date in the back row
Decide to see a film right after work. But even if you're both employed in the same office, get ready separately and make your own way to the cinema so you can engineer a romantic meeting in the ticket queue - then make sure you sit in the back row. Do enjoy the film - but remember that the object of this exercise is to enjoy each other more. So see how far you can go, and have a ball.

By the end of the main feature you should be really 'up for it'. But delay your desire while you go for a pizza, making sure that you do plenty of snogging between mouthfuls. I guarantee that when you finally get home, you'll be tearing each other's clothes off before you've reached the stairs.

Mid-week match
People make the mistake of believing that sex should always be spontaneous. Trouble is, you can wait and wait for the perfect moment. But it, and you, might never come. So there's nothing wrong with picking one night a week to be a regular sex fixture. That way, you can plan ahead by getting more sleep the night before and getting in a saucy mood on the day. A reminder by note or phone increases the anticipation. One lawyer friend of mine sends his girlfriend an e-mail on their special days saying: 'Please fit me into your crowded schedule tonight!' It never fails.

Foreplay on the 5.55
Commuting knocks the stuffing out of you, and if the two of you have to face a long journey twice daily, it's small wonder that you haven't much energy for horizontal jogging.

But instead of dreading the trip home, turn it into a treat. Sit snugly together, hold hands and talk dirty. And if you live right at the end of the line, and the carriage gradually clears of other commuters...

The phantom weekend away
Articles about perking up your sex life always insist that you should get away for sexy breaks. So you should. You know that - and I know that. But it isn't always practical, or financially possible. Instead, you should pretend to everyone that you're going away, but then settle down for a raunchy weekend in your own home. With no parents expecting to see you, and no friends dropping in to watch the big game, you can chill out any way you want. Of course, a stay-at-home weekend takes some arranging, but it's well worth the bother. You do any essential laundry and housework midweek and reserve Thursday night for shopping for all those light, tempting, luxury, sexy foods you don't usually allow yourselves. Then, come Friday, you set your answer-phone before work saying that you're away and - hey presto! - the scene is set for your sexy break at home.

Creeping in on Friday night, making sure no one spots you, is all part of the fun. So is lying on the floor every time anyone rings the doorbell during the weekend - well, you don't want anyone to know you're there! There are several advantages to this break-away-at-home:

it's much cheaper than going away

there's no travelling involved

you can sleep as much as you want

you can catch up on all those recorded videos that you've kept meaning to view

you can have sex - in your own bed - right through the weekend.

Finally some extra tips for parents
Couples who not only work, but who are parents too, have double the problems when it comes to romance. But this is a period in your life when you really need all the close and loving contact you can get. So, it's important to arrange time to interfere with each other's bodies as much as possible.

Cultivate baby-sitting relatives Cultivate every relative you can muster, and gratefully accept all offers of baby-sitting for nights, days and whole weekends.

Grandparents are the usual source of doting help, but childless aunts and uncles generally long to play part-time parent, and they're often so brilliantly inventive at activities, that your kids won't want to come home! Meanwhile you can play&

Sleep-overs
This modern trend which kids love, can actually save marriages in my opinion. So get together with the parents of all your children's friends and fix some sleep-overs for your 10-year-olds and older. Of course, you'll have to take your turn at being the host family and finding space for half a dozen sprogs and their sleeping bags, but this is a small price to pay for the freedom you'll get on the other occasions when your kids are the guests.

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