Try to educate your lover, but if he doesn't listen, dump him. Or you'll be in for a lifetime of frustration.

The Roll-On, Roll-Off Romeo
I named these guys after roll-on, roll-off car ferries because all they do is roll on top of you, do the business to their satisfaction and roll off you again.

These men may be charming, funny and intelligent, but their sex education is sadly lacking in one vital area, which is that they haven't a clue what loveplay is. They think that all that's necessary in bed is to insert their penis into some willing woman, hump away at her and enjoy it. For them the clitoris might as well be a climbing plant, and the G-spot something to do with furniture!

It's true that some of them may be shy. After all, women's pink bits are a bit mysterious and lots of men haven't a clue what to do with them.

But all men - yes, all men - in this 21st century should jolly well find out.

Unfortunately, the typical roll-on roll-off merchant frequently doesn't want to be bothered discovering what turns a woman on. And even if she plucks up courage to show him, he may ignore her or tell her she's abnormal and that 'real, hot women don't need that kind of thing'.

A friend of mine was dating a roll-on roll-off lover and one night in desperation she took his hand and plonked it right on her clitoris. He removed it immediately with the immortal words: 'Oh, that's never done much for me, dear'.

Collapse of relationship
So if you know a roll-on, roll-off lover, do try and educate him. But if he won't change, dump him. Or you'll be in for a lifetime of frustration.

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