You would expect it to be straightforward - their profile says they're looking for a long-term relationship, yet when you go on a date, you wonder whether you're dating an octopus!
If she's licking her lips whilst batting her eyelids at you, or he's rubbing his thighs like he's trying to make a fire, maybe your date has more immediate things in mind, let's take a closer look at the signs to help you spot who's after an STR and who's looking for a LTR...
Message clues
When you start messaging that dreamy singleton with the irresistible profile, pay close attention to their messages for clues as to whether they're looking for a long-term or a short-term partner. If their message is quite playful and they start dropping in comments, such as the fact that they're 'broadminded', you wouldn't be wrong in thinking that they might be looking for someone who'll tie them up, and... well, we're sure you can fill in the rest! Alternatively, if the tone of their message is more casual and talks about their hobbies, career, favourite films, and so on, this person's hormones are probably a little more in check!
The choice of venue
The first date usually provides the best platform to showcase a person's relationship intentions. If they've chosen the location of your date, pay close attention to their selection. For example, if they've chosen a nightclub, it's likely they're after the up-close-and-personal approach as afforded by the dance-floor, rather than the conversational approach which would be difficult with the volume of the music. On the other hand, if they've opted for a restaurant, it's likely that good conversation is important to them which is an attribute more highly sought after by those looking for a long-term relationship.
Body talk
Your date's body language will usually convey their expectations in terms of the date. If they're touchy/feely with you, it's highly likely that they would like to be slightly more than friends. Prolonged gazing into your eyes like a love-struck puppy-dog while you casually chat away is also a clear indication that they're pretty taken by your charms! On the other hand, if they gaze at you with a look of concentration while you fill them in on your take on the meaning of life, they're probably enjoying your intellectual streak.
Lip service
When you first meet your date, over-enthusiasm isn't always a good sign as this may indicate desperation. If they start singing your praises the moment they see you and the compliments don't stop throughout the entire duration of the date, be a little wary as they may be trying to sweet-talk their way into your pants! However, if their compliments are more low-key, they're probably less sidetracked by animal urges.
The ex
Your date's relationship history could provide valuable information about the type of relationship they're looking for when they meet you. This factor has two distinct elements - the first one being the fact that a person's dating history can provide clues about the amount of commitment they give a relationship, and the second element is whether or not someone might be on the rebound. In short - pay attention to the ex files!
When the date draws to a close
As the date comes to an end, it should become clearer whether your date is looking for a short-term or a long-term relationship. If they push you against a wall and try to eat your face off, you can safely assume that they're after a quickie, whereas if they give you a polite peck on the cheek (no, we don't mean that cheek!) and say they'd like to see you again, then they obviously want to take the time to get to know you better.
Coffee?
At the end of the date, if you get asked in for coffee, this could be an indicator that the person would like you to stay the night. However, it could also mean that they would like to make you a cup of coffee. Be careful not to confuse the two as this could have embarrassing consequences unless you don't mind sipping your cappuccino in the buff!
What you need to do
Rule of thumb is that, if you're after a long-term relationship and your first date has gone well, make sure you hold back a bit at the end of the date, as you don't want to give your dream date all of the relationship delights you can offer in one go! Less is definitely more in this instance. However, if you're looking for something more short-term, go for it, but make sure your date isn't expecting something less casual.
CommentsPlease login to leave a comment or report a post