Are they flirting or just being nice? Look out for these 15 dead giveaways.
How to tell if someone fancies you
How many times have you wished that you could read people's minds? It would make life and love so much easier. No more wondering, "does she want me?" or "is that guy looking at me because he fancies me or because I've got Twiglet dust round my mouth?"Are they flirting or just being nice? Look out for these 15 dead giveaways.
The very important 15 steps
1. It's in the eyesLingering eye contact is the single biggest sign that someone likes you. If they catch your eye, hold it for a beat, look away and then look back, they definitely like what they see. If they hold your gaze for four seconds or more, they're consciously and assertively sending the message that they're flirting with you. Eye contact can linger for too long, however. If they fix you for a full half hour with a CCTV-style stare, run fast.
2. ... and the eyebrows
Unless we've OD'ed on Botox, we all do a quick, involuntary eyebrow-raise when we first lay eyes on someone we fancy. You have to be quick to catch this clue. It usually last a fraction of a second, but it can last up to a second if they're really wowed.
3. Shoulders back
Both men and women tend to improve their posture when they see someone they find attractive, without realising they're doing it. A woman will arch her back; a man will push his shoulders back and slightly puff out his chest.
4. Suppressed smile
This often goes hand in hand with the lingering eye contact and upright posture of that first "ooh, I like you" glance. When we see someone we find attractive, especially for the first time, we can't help but smile. Watch out for someone looking at you and suppressing a smile.
5. Face softening
When people aren't focused on much, their face falls into a slight frown. (Hence the "cheer up, love" quip so beloved of idiots.) But when they see or talk to someone they like, the muscles in their face automatically relax.
6. Mirror mirror
The "mirroring" clue applies whether you're chatting to someone or they're standing at the other side of the room. Someone who's attracted to you will subconsciously copy your body movements. Their posture will be similar, and they may sip their drink a few seconds after you do. Mirroring (or "pacing") also encourages the other person to find you attractive, according to Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) seduction gurus.
7. Look at me
Watch out if they take a slight detour to walk past you on the way to the bar, the loo or wherever. They're trying to get your attention.
8. Well hello there
If they take the first step to initiate a conversation, they're probably interested. An opener like "I'm sure we've met before" or "you remind me of someone I know" is a sign so firm you could drive lorries across it.
9. Leaning
If they lean towards you while you're chatting, it can mean one of two things. Either the music is too loud and they can't hear a word you're saying, or they're flirting with you.
10. The foot-point
This clue seems far-fetched, but plenty of body language experts reckon it's a winner. If you're with someone who wants to stick around, their feet will be pointing in your direction. Presumably if their feet are pointing away, they're about to make a run for it.
11. The body glance
They can't help checking you out, even while you're deep in conversation. They'll look mostly at your face, but their eyes will subconsciously wander to other bits of your body - especially your hands, thighs and mouth. Their eyes certainly won't be wandering round the room.
12. Touching
They'll touch you, and themselves, while you're chatting. Nothing salacious going on here - the touching is subtle and fleeting. For example they'll touch their hair or chin while they talk, or they'll accidentally-on-purpose brush your arm when they get up for more drinks. Frankly, they want contact of a more touchy-feely kind when you're alone together.
13. You're mine
They want all your attention. They'll separate you from the crowd, perhaps by suggesting that you sit together "over there", or head outside for some air.
14. Laughing
Come on, you knew this one already. If someone likes you, they think you're witty and funny - and they make sure that you know it. Test the waters by making a quip telling a funny story. If they don't laugh, they're just not that into you.
15. Babble babble babble
You probably curse the fact that you turn into a nervous, babbling loon when you're talking to someone you fancy. But hey, don't knock babbling. It's one of the best clues that someone fancies you. Try to engage in what they're saying. This will boost their confidence and reduce the madness of their babble. Before you know it, they'll be perfectly relaxed.
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