The longer you've been out of the dating game, the harder it can be to get back into it. Your confidence is low, you've forgotten how to flirt, and you've no idea what an available person looks like.
Don't lose hope. If you want to find love, all you need is a bit of practice, a dollop of patience and a nudge in the right direction. Here are 10 ways to get back out there.
1. Be a happy singleton
If you hate being single, your desperation to find love can make you seem needy and clingy - and that's very unattractive.Boost your attractiveness by embracing your single status. You are your own boss. You decide when, where and with whom to go out. You can choose your own friends, your own dinner and how to spend your own money.
Once you recognise these advantages, your desperation will fade away. You'll seem happier, more confident and infinitely more dateable.
2. Get out more
No-one gets dates by sitting at home with the telly every night. Accept invitations, get in touch with old friends, go to local events, join a club. As well as putting you in touch with potential suitors, socialising will boost your confidence even further.
3. Become an everyday flirt
Flirting comes naturally to some people. They chat happily to the supermarket cashier, and smile at people who pass them in the street. They seem confident, friendly and approachable.
If you're not a natural flirt, practice. Chat to people as you go about your everyday life. The more you do it, the better you'll feel about yourself and your interactions with new people.
4. Master your body language
The right body language is a very important part of successful flirting. Good body language and posture also pay dividends when you're on a date.
Give yourself the illusion of confidence by holding your head high. This will instantly make you more approachable and eye-catching. Speak clearly, relax your shoulders and look people in the eye when they're talking, because it shows that you value what they're saying.
Most importantly, smile. A happy, welcoming expression will give you a winning aura of charisma.
5. Dress for success
Your clothes make a statement about you, your body image and whether you regard washing as a priority. Don't go overboard with designer labels and make-up, but get into the habit of going out in clothes than make you feel good about yourself.
6. Get online
Online dating is a rich seam of potential partners - 8 million UK single adults are currently using it to find love. It's a great way to meet people outside your usual circle, and to suss them out before meeting up.
Success online is all about standing out from a crowd of thousands (and thousands, and thousands). Write a profile that's witty, original and specific about your strong points, and give 'em a decent photo.
7. Make the first move
Whether you're on a dating website or itching for attention at a party, it pays to be proactive. Everyone is flattered by attention, and you'll get more and better dates if you get used to risking rejection.
Keep the opener brief and casual, perhaps a comment related to your surroundings. If you get the brush-off, that's their loss. And if someone isn't interested, at least you've had a go - and they may have friends who can't get enough of you.
8. Forget your ex
Don't look for a carbon copy of your last partner. The past is old news. When you start going on dates, don't even think about mentioning your ex until there are signs that you and your companion might continue seeing each other.
9. Keep your options open
Being narrow-minded about your requirements cuts off oodles of potential dates, so don't get fixated on an idea of your perfect match.
It's hard to decide whether someone is right for you if you've only seen their online profile, or met them for one drink. Your perfect partner may turn out to be someone 10 years younger and three stone fatter than you'd thought. You really never know.
10.Be interested
Playing hard to get doesn't work. The way to a man or a woman's heart is through letting them know that you like them. If you've enjoyed chatting, ask for their number. If you met online and you'd love a drink, say so. If you had a great first date, text them afterwards to say what a great time you had.
However, don't cross the line between enthusiasm and stalking. A first date ends when the pub shuts, unless your companion is obviously itching to drag you off for the night. Let them know that you think they're great, but leave them wanting more.
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