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Reading your date's body language

Reading your date's body language
Being able to successfully judge whether or not your date is attracted to you and enjoying your company can be tricky. However, there are bodily clues which you can use to find out whether your date will be hoping for a goodnight kiss at the end of the night.

If your date displays a cluster of the signs below, it is likely that they're more than just a little bit interested in you...


Positive positioning

As strange as it may sound, your date's feet will give a lot away, more specifically, the direction in which they're pointing. So if they are aimed towards you, as opposed to the exit, you can safely assume that his/her attention is focused on you.

'Open' gestures

Unfolded arms will typically indicate that your date is comfortable in your company and willing to open up to you. Similarly, upturned palms during conversation will show that your date is genuine and not closed off. However, bear in mind that your date may cross their arms, or clench their fists if they're feeling cold!

Leaning

If your date leans in towards you it's a positive sign. You shouldn't be afraid to 'mirror' this action by leaning towards them to meet them halfway. You can also subtly mirror other positive bodily cues, such as smiling and head tilting.

Smiling and laughing

This body language is pretty obvious, and provides a clear indication that your date is enjoying your company, particularly if he/she is in stitches at your repertoire of naff jokes! Smiling can be very powerful because a smile is never straightforward. If your date is attracted to you, their smiling is likely to become coy and playful rather than merely friendly and welcoming.

Raised shoulders

Raised shoulders typically accompany the leaning posture, and exhibit interest and attraction. In everyday interactions, women commonly raise their shoulders as a reaction to something which is cute or charming. So guys, if she does it when you're around, it can only be a good thing.

Head tilting

Head tilting is a great way of telling whether or not you're captured your date's interest. If your date tilts their head to the side this will be a positive indicator of attentiveness. However, if your date's head is pointing downwards or turning to allow them to look around the room, it's likely that your conversation is boring!

Posture

When flirting, men and women will naturally adopt a posture which accentuates their masculinity/femininity. Men tend to stand tall with their chest forward, while women subconsciously adopt a pose which shows off their feminine features such as their hips or chest.

Playing

Women will often play with something, such as their jewellery, their hair or their wine glass when they're attracted to a man. However, guys, be careful not to confuse this with fidgeting which is a sign of boredom! Positive playing will be slow and hypnotic, whereas fidgeting will be fretful and annoying.

Excuse touching

During your date, if the person you are with is enjoying your company, he/she will casually touch you to test the water. For example, he/she may touch your wrist during conversation, or touch your hand 'accidentally' when you both reach for the menu, and so on. You might like to try this 'excuse' touching yourself if you're attracted to someone but feel unsure of how they feel about you. If they don't pull away from your touch, and initiate similar 'excuse' touching, it's looking good!

The gaze

When we see a possible dating opportunity, we tend to 'eye-up' the person concerned. This involves casting our eyes over the other person's eyes, then looking at their lips, then down towards their body, and back up to meet their gaze. This is likely to be a rapid process, but if you catch your date checking you out on more than one occasion, it's more than likely they're enjoying the view!

Prolonged eye contact

If your date is making frequent and prolonged eye contact, it is a positive sign of their attraction to you. Your date's pupils are also likely to dilate if they're feeling the love. Watch out for whether your date uses the flirtatious 'come to bed look' where the head is tilted downwards and the eyes are looking up towards you, as another positive indication of attraction.

Lip gazing/biting

You may notice your date looking at your lips on several occasions, particularly if they're hoping for a kiss! Women will sometimes subconsciously bite their lip while flirting with a man as a sign of attraction.

Breathing patterns

When your date is really feeling the sparks fly as the attraction intensifies, their breathing will become slower and heavier. This happens during the lust phase, and is more likely to occur further into the relationship as opposed to on the first date, unless the initial sexual chemistry is explosive!

Ready to kiss?

Knowing whether or not someone would like to be kissed is often tricky. If you've noticed your date displaying a fair amount of the bodily cues above, particularly the excuse touching behaviour, they could well be hoping for a kiss. So, if your date is standing close to you (closer than a friend/family member would usually stand), gazing into your eyes and looking at your lips a lot, has their lips are parted, and seems to be lingering a while, it's likely that they're after your killer kiss.

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CommentsPlease login to leave a comment or report a post

Added: 7 January 2009 23:33
issi says:
hi kate

you sound like a very normal, lovely and attractive person. Iam sure you are not short of friends be it male or female, however what I've experienced is that if a female is very attractive it can sometime have the opposisite effect on men and decent ones will not approach such a female with fear of disappointment or worse inbarrasment, so they rather go for the girl next door look. I am saying this through experience as my wife was an ex-model and the only way I met her was through my cousin and I she made the first move on me after she waited for about eight month for me and got fed up so she grabbed the bull by the horn and asked me for dinner, as we have been socialilising all that time every sat night, but because she was very attractive, I didn't think she was interested in me, even when we became good friends. She later told me, it can be a diadvantage being attractive, however if you want someone, don't wait to be asked, as my experieced has shown. That was 20 years ago and 3 kids later we are still very happy and she still turns heads, but I ignore that.

gO FOR IT

Love Issi
Added: 7 November 2008 21:21
Dean says:
OH Kate. I thought it was only me in this situation. So it was with raised eye brows and a cheeky smile that i read your comments. I was thinking the same thing regarding the body language issue. I mean i dont think its just a man thing but i would never know the signs if mike tyson himself planted them on my jaw with a left hook. Like you my close friends are married, with kids or both, so arranging a nite out needs nothing short of military planning. Im thinking with this skill i have aquired there is a business plan there(dragons den here i come). I to am single which suprises me (still!!) living in london. I also have a good job, go to the gym blah, blah blah and have a busy active life and there i believe i have found the answer to our situation. We're doing to much and giving no one else a chance to catch us...dare i say it (GENIOUS). So Kate what do you think?
Added: 7 November 2008 19:50
Kate says:
Very readable, but really,nothing new. i.e. 'if your date is leaning towards you woth their lips open..they are probably hoping for your kiss'. Hmmm, didn;t we all know that when we were teenagers. And the old body language thing, arms folded or not folded, fidgeting, breathing, eye contact etc etc. It's 2008 and I think we are all quite savvy (or should be) about these things. And can we really all pay attention to all these things anyway when we are with someone! I know it is very useful for alot of people however, especially those new to the dating or re-dating scene. I personallu would love to read something about where or HOW to meet Mr or Mrs Perfect. I;m in my early 30's for example, all my friends are either married, married with children or somewhere in between and true to form they don't really go out much. So, that leaves little or no opportunity these days to go out as a singke female, where there are single guys..elligible single guys let me add! Nobody with a wife/husbamd or significant other wants to go on a speed dating evening with their friend do they, and understandable too. And before you suggest the internet dating, I've been on 4 different websites and have now sacked the idea altogether having had nothing but complete opposites (to their description and photos)turning up, and even wierdo stalker emails. It doesn;t work for the majority. So, countless emails, dates, and direct debits later I still find it almost impossible to meet men: normal, funny, intelligent, handsome, decent men! I'm not over fussy or under fussy. I like to think I fairly attractivr at least ( I used to be a model up until 3 years ago), I keep fit,healthy, etc etc. So, why is it so hard for a vibrant, single, highly elligible female like me to meet like men!!!! Any help, please!!!! I;d be really interested what men think of this...
Added: 7 November 2008 16:52
Liz Wrigley says:
Entertaining, Educational & could have done with more on this topic!!

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