Dear Anne
I got my partner pregnant, I would like her to have an abortion because we did not want children until we were older. Besides, we would not be able to cope with our busy lives at this time. But my partner does not agree, because she is a strong Roman Catholic. Roman Catholics do not agree with abortion because they believe that life begins at conception and firmly believe that it is wrong to take a human life. I on the other hand am a strong Church of England Christian and believe that abortion is only right as a last resort, if the baby would be unloved or would not be looked after. This is why I think that abortion is the right thing to do. But what do I do? Should I get my partner to have an abortion or have baby adopted? Luke
Dear Luke
I accept that you're not ready for fatherhood right now - but by your own actions you already are a father. I understand that you'd like your partner to have an abortion but as the pregnancy is happening in her body she's the one who has the right to decide what to do about it. If she's decided to keep the baby there's not much you can do about that. Whether or not you and your partner stay together, as the biological father you have a legal and moral obligation towards your child.
Your partner might choose to go to www.bpas.org, the website of the British Pregnancy Advisory Service, and/or, if she's under 25, she could ring the Brook Advisory helpline on 0800 0185 023. She could discuss her options with them, including the possibility of adoption.
Many people do get used to the idea of a baby, and once they see that new little life they've created, they realise their child is the most wonderful, precious gift they could possibly have. Sure, being a parent entails some sacrifices but it's fulfilling and fun too once you get your head round it.
Whether or not you and she continue as a couple, I wish your baby shared, responsible co-parenting. Good luck to you all.
