Dad's dangerous driving

Could you please help me with a problem? My father has Alzheimer's and I want to stop him driving. The doctors haven't stopped him and it's 'against his civil liberties' to take his keys away. He is not capable of driving. He doesn't even know his name. I'm 14 and need to stop Dad driving before he kills himself or other people. Please help me. Charlotte

Dear Charlotte

How difficult this must be for you! You're very young to be losing the man you've always known as your father, and as it's you rather than your mum who's writing in, it sounds like you're doing your best to care for him without much support.

I agree that the area around a person's civil liberties becomes rather foggy when mental health is part of the mix. However, your dad doesn't sound safe to drive, neither for himself nor for anybody else, so if nobody else will do anything about it, I hope you'll find the courage to get help. Have you made an appointment to discuss your concerns with his family doctor or his clinic? Or is there another adult you can take with you? The progress of Alzheimer's can vary, so a check-up even a couple of months ago may have given different results from what one now might show. You might also contact the Alzheimer's Society on 0207 423 3500 or go to their website at www.alzheimer's.org.uk. This is a charitable support organisation both for sufferers and their families.

Meantime I hope you're also getting some support. You might find it useful to talk to your school nurse, and perhaps to let your Head of Year know a bit about what's happening for you. I hope you can talk to family and friends. There's no need for shame and embarrassment. Alzheimer's is a horrible illness and nobody's fault. It's much in the news at the moment because author Terry Pratchett has just announced that he has it. Difficult though it may be, I hope you'll also be able to hold onto good memories of your father since his illness doesn't define him or the whole of his life.

I wish you and your family all the best. My thoughts and prayers are with you.