Dear Anne
I am 13 and I think I'm pregnant. I've missed two periods and my friend got me a pregnancy test that was positive when I did it. What do I do?
Anonymous
Dear Anonymous
I'm sorry you find yourself in this position. Your first port of call might be www.brook.org.uk/content. The Brook Advisory Clinics offer a confidential service to people under the age of 25. Alternatively you could go to www.brpas.org.uk, the website of the British Pregnancy Advisory Service, who also offer confidential services. Both organisations have medical staff and counsellors with whom you can discuss your options. They won't try to push you into anything but will be supportive and helpful. Your choices are termination, adoption or keeping the baby. Termination is legal in the first 24 weeks of pregnancy in the UK, but it is best done within the first 12 weeks as there's less risk. You could invite your boyfriend or even your best mate to go with you as it can be hard keeping everything straight in your head when you're worried.
It may help you to know that there are schools where young mums can continue with their education, while learning childcare. They also have creches. There are also some State benefits mums are entitled to, such as child benefit and a maternity grant. The CAB (www.citizensadvice.org.uk) could help you find out about any entitlements you might have as a mum. The baby's father also has a legal and moral responsibility towards the child. He won't have to pay anything while he's under age, but once he's in employment then he should, either voluntatirly or through the CSA.
Meantime you'll need to tell your parents, especially if you decide to keep the child. Many parents are shocked and horrified at first but come round to the idea and love the child. Parents can be very supportive and they have first-hand experience of parenting, which will be a great help when your little one keeps you awake half the night. Your parents may pressure you to make their choice instead of your own, but keeping the baby or not is your decision. It's not easy being a mum, especially as you're so young yourself, but if necessary you will be entitled to accommodation, probably at first in a hostel for young mums if your parents aren't keen on having your child in their home.
One other thing. Whether or not you have this baby, it's essential to find out about contraception so you never have another unplanned pregnancy. Both the Brook and BPAS can advise you about this.
Good luck.
