Dear Anne
I'm worried my wife may be schizophenic. She told me soon after we met that she had been raped by a stranger when she was about 11 years old, and previous to that she had also been sexually abused at an early age by her best friend. I have always been very understanding and try to help her through any problems that she experiences, but there are one or two things that I find rather worrying about her behaviour that appear to be getting worse.
About a year ago, she was referred to the Psychiatric Social Worker section of our local hospital as she was hearing 'voices' in her head, and had become very afraid to leave the house most of the time. When they interviewed her, they questioned nearly everything she told them, and gave her the impression they thought she was making it all up. They were quite hostile and dismissive, discounting the voices as merely common thoughts! They also hinted that as she was studying psychology she was probably imagining all these symptoms for attention, and they chose not to continue with any treatment or suggestions on how to cope with her problems.
The only route offered was to visit a counsellor as they felt that talking about the sexual abuse might improve things. Since this original visit I have watched my wife's behaviour get worse, and her mental state deteriorate but the PSWs rejected a further referral by a new doctor.
When she hears the voices she appears to retreat into another world, and apparently the voices tell her to do things - sometimes merely touch something a specified number of times, although occasionally she says they tell her to be violent towards people but luckily she manages to control herself. I worry constantly what state she is in, and I have to watch what I do or say in case I 'trigger' one of these moments. She even says some TV programmes have started the voices off in her head. They keep her awake and disturb us both as she doesn't feel safe. She must also tread on certain floorboards a specific number of times before she comes to bed or some unknown 'bad' thing will happen to take me away from her. The other problem that has worsened is her reluctance to leave our flat, even if I accompany her.
It is most frustrating that the psychiatric social workers should deny that there is a problem and refuse even to see her, when I have seen her condition get worse over the course of the last year.
She herself has joked that they will not take any notice of her unless she stabs someone, and obviously this is in the back of my mind as I am aware that some of the symptoms she has are those of schizophrenia. Thanks to the way she has been treated she does not want to speak to a counsellor or pursue this further as she thinks that everyone will dismiss her as having made the whole thing up, although I know this is not true as I have to witness it every day. I worry that one day her behaviour may become anti-social or even violent.
It is already putting a strain on our relationship and I don't know what I can do to help her, as she seems resigned to the fact that no-one will believe her enough to help. I would never leave her as she would simply fall apart completely but my relationships with my friends and family are already suffering. If you have any suggestions on how I can help her, please let me know. I have tried to get her to see a counsellor but she doesn't think it will help. Thanks. Paul
Dear Paul
I appreciate your concern. Your wife is obviously unhappy and frightened, and having been dismissed by one group of PSWs has led her to believe she can't get help. However, the bunch you saw are not the only professional help available, and there's more than one way to skin a cat.
A different tactic might be to invite her to complete a brief diary of what's happening for her over a period of a month. She could write a line or two of thoughts, feelings and actions for set times each day, such as morning, afternoon, early evening, late evening and night.
Although you have identified her symptoms as possibly being schizophrenic, please be aware that such a label covers a wide range of experiences, and only makes up part of your wife's personality. She is a human being, a woman, a wife, a colleague and perhaps a friend or daughter, and she just happens to have this uncomfortable aspect as well, which is only a part of her, not the whole. It's true that sometimes medication can help, but talking therapy with a private counsellor could be a great starting point. You're looking at fees of around �20-�50 per hour but as private counsellors are not as stretched as the NHS your wife may find she feels more relaxed and in control in this setting.
Please be aware that only some counsellors are willing to undertake work of this nature, and in any case not all are trained in this field. However, some may well be willing to work with the traumatic experiences your wife had as a youngster, which might offer her some symptomatic relief, and they could perhaps refer her to a psychiatrist if they believe that's a good idea. If you were to accompany her at least to the initial meeting she would perhaps feel more protected and hopeful. You could visit the British Association of Counselling and Psychotherapy website at www.bac.co.uk for a list of qualified practitioners in your area, or email the Institute of Transactional Analysis at admin@ita.org.uk, giving them a brief account of your wife's experiences now and in the past and requesting the names of psychotherapists in your area who might be willing to take her case. You might also like to visit the uplifting website at www.schizophrenia.com where real stories of how others have overcome mental problems could give you both a boost.
In any case it's worth another visit to the new doctor, not only to keep him apprised of what's going on but to consult with him about your wife's diary.
