Dear Anne
I have great money problems, loads of debts and my husband does not know how much I owe. I can't sleep at night because of the worry. I just want to be able to pay them off in one go. Also I have been trying for a baby for 7 years. Is there any hope for me? Joe
Dear Joe
Worry is a horrible thing, isn't it? It can stop you sleeping so that you feel worn down and can't think clearly. So what to do?
I quite understand that you'd like to pay off your debts in one go. Unfortunately that's not very likely. However, there is a positive way forward. Although I'm sure you've done everything you can think of, a debt counsellor can give you more information and different strategies for managing your finances and repaying what you owe. You can find a debt counsellor through your local Citzens Advice Bureau. This is a much better option than going to a loan company, who will charge you interest. Once you can see your way forward, you will feel better even if you have a long haul ahead of you. Then it would be easier to talk to your husband about the debts. Wouldn't that be easier than the stress of fearing his discovering your secret?
In the meantime, it would be a good idea to talk things over with your doctor. She may be able to prescribe medication to relieve your symptoms of anxiety, or suggest other tactics to improve your sleeping. That too will help you feel more able to cope. You can also tell your doctor about your not having conceived yet. She may be able to give you useful information and arrange some tests so that if there is a problem it can be sorted out. It's worth knowing, though, that anxiety can make conception more difficult so once you have addressed the first problem, the second may resolve itself!
I wish you courage and peace of mind.
Back to Ask Anne
