Dear Anne
I am a man of 58, a self-employed plumber who finds himself with lots of free time in the day. I don't always make the most of it. Can you make any sugestions, please? Gordon
Dear Gordon
Thank you for your letter. I get quite a few requests from people who don't feel that they're getting the most out of life, so I hope this answer will be useful to them as well as to you.
Congratulations on knowing that you're not satisfied with what you've been doing! This is the first step in starting to do something different. The second is to settle back and daydream! You can begin by imagining that five years from now you've got your life exactly as you'd like it. See yourself clearly, what you're wearing, how you're standing or sitting, where you are and who you're with. See how those other people are responding warmly to you, and see how contented you are.
In your daydream I invite you to cover as many of these areas as you'd like: your personal fulfilment, your family, your love-life, friends, occupation (will you retire? Or dream up other projects?), your home and garden, your interests, your community, and perhaps spiritual matters. Think what you'd like to have achieved, whether that be learning a new skill, widening your social life, or paddling up the Amazon. Enjoy your daydream. Make it as satisfying as possible, then come back to the you now sitting in your armchair.
At this point you can start breaking each target down into small steps. For example, if you'd like to foster tighter and more rewarding links to your community, you might make a list of people or organisations who could use your skills. Perhaps a local old people's home or orphanage could do with someone who could do some plumbing for them at cost price. Or you could contact your local council and see if they need help with any community projects, whether that's litter-picking along the canal or decorating for someone who can't do it for themselves. If you'd like to make new friends, you might consider an adult education class, maybe gardening, making stained glass or learning a new language. If you want a more fulfilling love-life, you could talk things over with your partner (if you have one), join a dating agency or go to one of the sites like www.directdating.com .
There are plenty of people whose lives you could enrich. In doing that, you stand to make your own life more enriching too. We all live in now. Now is the only moment where we can act or not act. I invite you to love each day of your life and make it the most rewarding that you can. And remember: small achievements are still achievements. You're entitled to celebrate your successes. The more you do that, the more successes you'll have.
Good luck, Gordon! Be good to yourself!
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