I am a typical 23 year old gal from Hyderabad, India. I have had a crush on my boss and even he seemed to have liked me. One fine day he proposed me and I accepted his proposal. Our relation was going on smoothly. We used to go out and one day we went on a business trip where we had indulged into sex. After all that we came back from the trip and one day he called me into his office and said our relationship might not work and we needed to break up. I really don't know what the reason was. I was shocked and couldn't think of anything. Now my parents have looked for a match for me and they got me engaged. Now I'm worried whether that one night could cause problems in my life. Please suggest what I can do as I don't have friends or anyone else to discuss this with. Priyanka
Dear Priyanka
What a rat your boss was! Yes, he liked you - but he liked himself more. He took advantage of your infatuation to get you into bed, and once he'd had what he wanted he packed you in. He lied to you, manipulated you and played a horrible mind-game with you to convince you that you and he had a future. Be glad that didn't happen! A guy like that wouldn't have stopped his manipulations once he'd got married. He'd have had you right where he wanted you and would probably have played his nasty game with other women too.
In some cultures emphasis is placed on the existence of the hymen as a proof of virginity. But increasingly people are becoming aware that this isn't important, and in any case it's never been a reliable indicator. Vigorous exercise, horse-riding, masturbation and the use of tampons mean that fewer women retain their hymen anyway. Besides, for most women this tiny little flap of skin that goes partially across the inside of the vagina is so thin even penetrative sex isn't likely to cause more than the tiniest drop of blood. Unless your family belongs to a culture where the wedding sheet has to be shown to be marked, I wouldn't worry about it. If you have to show blood, then you could have a small scab on a grazed knuckle and use that to put the blood in place. Or a little dab of blood in a plastic bag under the mattress.
It's up to you, of course, whether you feel you want to tell your future husband what happened with your selfish boss. Some women want to confess to make themselves feel better, but whether it ends up well depends on how their husband reacts. Some women recognise that it has nothing to do with their husband. They know it's in the past and leave it there.
I hope you won't let that past unhappiness spoil your happiness in the future. Good luck.
