The Whole Ten Yards film review

certificate_12A

THE WHOLE TEN YARDS

The title suggests that it goes even further than the 2000's The Whole Nine Yards, though in truth that would be near impossible. What it does mean is that so little inspiration went into this labored sequel that no-one could even come up with a better title. In light of the original's modest success, it's hard to fathom why it was felt necessary to make a follow up. The outcome would certainly make the decision questionable. It can only be assumed contractual obligations rather than creative fulfillment prompted the cast to reunite.

One critical absentee is Nine Yards' director Jonathan Lynn who has been replaced by Howard Deutch. Controlling the reins of a galloping slapstick comedy is not an easy task, and one that seems beyond Deutch. There are too many pointless scenes (like any of it has a point) that serve only to slow proceedings down, along with gags where the timing is discernibly off and others where the humour solicits a wince rather than a chuckle. At times it's hard not to feel the actors' collective embarrassment at finding themselves involved in such nonsense.

Bruce Willis returns as the domesticated hitman Jimmy 'The Tulip' Tudeski who would much rather be cooking up Lobster Thermidor than whacking someone. When we first encounter him he's in full charlady regalia and vacuuming, much to the humiliation of his wife and aspiring hitwoman, Jill (Amanda Peet). "I thought I'd married a hitman not Martha Stewart." "I'm in disguise," he explains. "Your disguise is dumb," she declares. But not as dumb as what follows. Watching Bruce Willis reduced to chasing laughs by wearing bunny slippers and flashing his backside is pitiful for such a gifted comic.

The essence of The Whole Ten Yards, like any farce, lies in its convoluted plotting. Jimmy is hiding out in Mexico under the witness protection scheme with Jill when he is visited by Beverly Hills dentist and old foe Oz (Matthew Perry). Oz's wife, and Jimmy's ex, Cynthia (Natasha Henstridge) has been kidnapped by Lazlo (Kevin Pollak), a Hungarian crime lord who has just been released from prison and is out to avenge the death of his son Yanni at the hands of Jimmy.

In what comes across as a competition to create the most ludicrous character, all are worthy contenders, though Perry's manic Oz is ultimately beaten out by Pollak as the heavily accented Lazlo, a role that echoes his portrayal of Yanni first time round.