The Perfect Man film review

certificate_PG

THE PERFECT MAN

What constitutes the perfect man according to this ill-conceived hokum is not someone with a burning inner soul, deep compassion or romance oozing from every pore. No, the clue that poor Jean's (Heather Locklear) lifelong search for the ideal companion is finally over is based on the fact that the man in question fills in crosswords with pen. This factor alone, according to Jean's teenage daughter Holly (Hilary Duff), confirms Ben (Chris Noth) as the man to end her mum's long line of loser boyfriends.

It's one of only too many unconvincing elements that plague this poor excuse for a romantic comedy, which goes nowhere and makes little sense on the way. It's almost as if the script was created like a game of consequences, where one person wrote a scene, then folded the page and handed it to the next writer who added their contribution without having read what went before. It appears to be the only explanation for why seemingly normal people do the most ludicrous things and why the plot has more holes than a truck full of Polo Mints.

It begins with Holly moaning as she prepares to move for the umpteenth time because yet again her mum's relationship has ended. Given Jean's penchant for picking jerks, it's a wonder they bother unpacking in the first place. And why Jean feels the need to relocate to a different city every time is one of the script's many unanswered questions, along with explaining how an assistant in a bakery store can afford the rent on the spacious New York apartment they move to. Still, applying any degree of logic to this would be doing more than those involved bothered to do.

As if we didn't believe that Jean had poor judgment when it came to men, she hooks up with the first schmuck who peddles her a cheesy line. Exasperated by her mum's cyclical behaviour, Holly, along with her friend Amy (Vanessa Lengies), tries to break the routine by inventing a secret and more suitable admirer, one that shares June's interests in cooking and crosswords and, unlike the redneck Lenny (Mike O'Malley), doesn't consider seeing a Styx tribute band a good idea for a first date.

Quite why Holly thought an imaginary boyfriend would provide Jean with the companionship she so desires is yet another mystery. Things become even more farcical when the subterfuge involves Amy's uncle Ben (Chris Noth) whose stunning revelation about doing crosswords in ink naturally makes him prime soul mate material.