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With the marketing of Christmas starting earlier and earlier every year, it usually takes to about midway through December before becoming fed-up with the whole yuletide thing. But about ten minutes into the abysmal Santa Clause 3, Christmas has lost its appeal. Anything that's responsible for inspiring such utter dross is certainly not worth celebrating. It's not an escape clause I was interested in, more an escape exit.
The Santa Clause 3 has the same writing and directing team behind the previous installment, but clearly they used up all their ideas and jokes last time out as there are none to be found here. Trying to figure out what's going on is baffling, though not quite as confusing as how anyone thought the script was good enough to shoot in the first place. Obviously, with the success of the original two films, the decision to make a third was prompted by money rather than artistic fulfillment, but with four years elapsing since The Santa Clause 2, surely there was enough time to come up with something better than this.
Once again Tim Allen plays Scott Calvin and his alter ego, Santa Claus. As things begin, Santa has clearly given Mrs Claus (Elizabeth Mitchell) an early Christmas present as she is pregnant and being rushed into hospital. "I hope you're not delivering when I'm delivering," she quips. Turns out to be a false alarm and the couple head back to the North Pole where Santa prepares for his big day with his team of elves. Wanting help around while hubby is busy, she arranges for her parents (Ann Margret and Alan Arkin) to come and stay. However, they are unaware of their son-in law's true identity so are told they are in Canada, which naturally explains why the place is filled with little people with pointy ears. I don't think.
The normally amusing Martin Short plays the shock-haired baddy Jack Frost who tries to take over Santa's mantle by sabotaging the festive preparations. There's also a sub-plot (though that misleadingly implies there's a main plot) which involves Santa trying to connect with his son from a previous marriage. Divorce is naturally a hilarious topic for a kid's Christmas movie. Though even more appropriate topics fail to raise a smile, let alone a laugh.
Maybe a rummage around the editor's floor would unearth the story's missing pieces because what made it to the screen is an incoherent mess. Even the normally brilliant Alan Arkin is unable to save the day. He delivers his lines with a bemused expression as if they made no sense, which indeed they don't. Jack Frost best sums up the feelings of all those unfortunate enough to be connected with this fiasco when he concedes "Well, that didn't work out the way I hoped." No kidding!
Kevin Murphy