Merlin: The Return film review

certificate_PG

MERLIN: THE RETURN

What better to keep the little 'uns amused than a fantastical adventure full of brave knights and beautiful maidens? A stirring tale of magic and sorcery, courage and daring, demons and duels? Until that film comes along, we're lumbered with Paul Matthews' modern-day Arthurian legend, an Anglo-American co-production almost excruciating enough to win the worst picture of 2000 award.

Many moons ago, the wizard Merlin (Rik Mayall) cast a spell to save King Arthur (Patrick Bergin) and his Knights of the Round Table from the evil sorcerer Mordred (Craig Sheffer).

The mage called on the power of Stonehenge to consign the forces of darkness to the Netherworld and send Arthur and his men into a deep sleep, ready to return if Mordred should rise again.

Now, at the dawning of the new millennium, Merlin's powers are waning and Mordred is preparing to lead his minions through a dimensional gate to take charge of the Earth.

He has joined forces with power-hungry scientist Joan Maxwell (Tia Carrere), who is experimenting with the magnetic flows of the Earth: the very source of Merlin's magic.

Merlin is aided on his quest by 14-year-old Ritchie (Byron Taylor), who has moved to leafy England from America after his father's death, and cherubic 13-year-old Kate (Leigh Greyvenstein), who needs something to keep her amused during the summer hols.

Flanked by Arthur and the Knights, as well as former exiles Lancelot (Adrian Paul) and Guinevere (Julie Hartley), Merlin and the children take on Mordred and Maxwell in a titanic battle where fate of the world hangs in the balance.

Merlin The Return is a catalogue of disasters. Matthews' screenplay holds little excitement for youngsters, while magic and humour are in very short supply.

The writer-director has no ear for dialogue at all, burdening his experienced cast with lines that fall flat and making the two youngsters sound mature beyond their years.

Character development is minimal and action set-pieces are hamstrung by cheap computer graphics and backgrounds that look like hastily painted fibreboard and polystyrene.

Mayall restrains his trademark impishness and plays his wizard relatively straight, while Sheffer growls all of his lines, furrowing his brow and squinting menacingly for added impact.

The supporting cast makes no impression, not least Taylor and Greyvenstein whose winsomeness far outweighs their ability to carry emotion.