Meet the Spartans film review

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MEET THE SPARTANS

There are bad films and then there is Meet the Spartans, which exists in a league of awfulness all of its own. The creators of the witless spoofs Scary/Epic/Date Movie are (unfortunately) back, attempting to parody the world of modern celebrity with the skill and panache of a small child. Not only does it have to be a contender for the next Razzie Awards but it is an early favourite for worst film of the century.

Ostensibly set up as a parody of Greek war epic 300, it's one of the most unpleasant 90 minutes you are likely to ever spend in a cinema. Of course, men in togas and thongs are all gay in the eyes of the filmmakers so there are plenty of unsubtly homophobic scenes, such as when the 13 (rather than 300) skip off to battle hand in hand singing I Will Survive. And to give you further idea of the level of talent behind the cameras, the traitor in their camp is called Traitoro.

You may have often found yourself asking the question 'Whatever happened to Sean Maguire who used to play Aidan in EastEnders'? The answer is that he has been having a very successful time in Hollywood with serial roles in several tv shows. This is his first time as a cinematic leading man, and while the material he is in is dross, he actually manages to make a decent fist of it, even if he is defecated upon by a penguin amongst many other demeaning things.

Support comes from Carmen Electra who shakes her thing, Ken Davitian who nearly loses all of the cult cool he gained starring as Borat's forlorn producer, and Kevin Sorbo from tv's Hercules who bears a disturbing resemblance to Richard Madeley in leather underpants.

Nobody laughed at the screening I attended, which is some achievement. Instead there was a collective feeling of embarrassment as events unfolded on screen. The 'jokes' are cheap, it looks cheap and it's likely to leave audiences feeling cheap, and definitely depressed.

Paul Hurley