House! film review

certificate_15

HOUSE!

Two little ducks, the key of the door, legs, two fat ladies, Heinz varieties. To you and I, bingo and its lingo may seem quaint and out-dated, but to thousands of fanatics up and down the country, young and old, it's nothing short of a religion - people for whom a "clickety click" here or a "Maggie's Den" there could mean the difference between going home empty-handed and that holiest of grails: the full house.

The La Scala bingo hall, run by debonair Mr Anzani (Freddie Jones), is the last of a dying breed: an old-fashioned family business nestling at the heart of a close-knit Welsh community which puts its customers ahead of flashy decor or fairy-tale jackpots.

The staff know the punters by name, Anzani takes a break at half time to serve hot meals to the regulars, and flirtatious caller Gavin (Jason Hughes) engages in friendly banter with the players between draws.

Unfortunately, attendance figures aren't high enough to keep the business afloat and when a glittering Mega Pleasure bingo arena opens in town, boasting flashy computer graphics and a nationwide #1 million top prize game, well, La Scala simply can't compete.

Not until one of its loyal staff, Linda (Kelly MacDonald), discovers that she has the ability to predict the winning numbers before they are drawn. Fuelled by the belief that she can save the hall from early closure, Linda persuades Anzani to buy into the nationwide £1 million game and then provides her scheming aunt (Miriam Margolyes) with the winning card, on the understanding that they split the ill-gotten gains 50-50. It sounds almost too good to be true...

Once you get past the glaring central flaw in Julian Kemp's boisterous debut feature - why does Linda bother with such an elaborate deception when she could just buy herself a National Lottery ticket and scoop the jackpot that way? -House! is a great deal of fun.

The cast is uniformly excellent, from MacDonald's spunky heroine (sporting a marvellous, lyrical Welsh accent), to Hughes's exceedingly camp love interest, to Margolyes's wickedly detestable, money-grabbing villainess.

Mossie Smith is in show-stopping form as busty fellow worker Kay whose filthy mind claims all the best lines, and who unwittingly torpedoes Linda and Gavin's burgeoning romance with a spot of over-excited horseplay.