Running time: 78 minutes
Starring: Mike Myers, Kelly Preston, Alec Baldwin, Sean Hayes, Dakota Fanning, Spencer Breslin
Rating 3 out of 10
Turkeys are synonymous with Thanksgiving, although I'm not sure Dr Seuss' The Cat In The Hat was meant to be one when Universal and DreamWorks released it for the US holiday. It's hard to conceive of how director Bo Welch could take one of the most beloved children's books, one of the funniest actors, a good supporting cast and end up with one big dud, but he succeeded. That a film this colourful could be so dull is quite an achievement. Even the caffeinated capers of Mike Myers as Cat aren't enough to provide a pulse in this stiff. It would be harsh to ladle all the blame on first time director Welch. Much should be aimed at the three writers who between them weren't able to muster enough to fill a flimsy 78 minutes. The book provides the skeletal story, but it's what they've added that's the problem. Toilet humour and sexual innuendo seem misplaced and inappropriate. Jokes about the Cat being lactose intolerant and fish that swim in their own pee would presumably be as unfunny to Dr Seuss as they are tasteless.
Welch's previous experience as a production designer and art director might explain why he was chosen. And, to its credit, the look is truly wonderful. Anville is a vivid feast with bright, whimsical shops and pink houses that look edible against their lush green backdrop, giving the whole town a Disneyland feel.
In expanding the book's story, the writers saw fit to portray Conrad (Spencer Breslin) and Sally's (Dakota Fanning) mum (Kelly Preston) as a sexy single woman who not only gets a rise out of the Cat's hat, but attracts the obsequious attentions of neighbour Quinn (a delightfully boorish Alex Baldwin). Quinn's designs on mom also involve having the rebellious Conrad packed off to military school.
In most other respects the film stays true to its source, which means the mischievous Cat retains his mean streak, while both kids are less than endearing. Thing One and Thing Two add little and the goldfish (voiced by Sean Hayes) is equally ineffectual. "I'm a cat that can talk. That should be enough for you," Cat says at one point. Sadly it's not.
