Running time: 116 minutes
Starring: Neve Campbell, Courteney Cox Arquette, David Arquette, Parker Posey, Jenny McCarthy, Emily Mortimer, Matt Keeslar,
Patrick Dempsey, Liev Schreiber, Lance Henriksen, Scott Foley
Rating 2 out of 10
In the second instalment of Wes Craven's horror franchise, film geek Randy Meeks (Jamie Kennedy) notes that "Sequels suck!" just before he is sliced and diced by the knife-wielding psycho in the Munch mask.He makes an unexpected re-appearance in Scream 3 via a posthumous video message, to impart a few key facts about movie trilogies to the remaining Woodsboro survivors - plucky Sidney Prescott (Neve Campbell), tabloid hack Gale Weathers (Courteney Cox Arquette) and loveable cop Dwight 'Dewey' Riley (David Arquette).
"One: you got a killer who's gonna be super-human. Stabbing him won't work, shooting him won't work, basically in the third one, you gotta cryogenically freeze his head, decapitate him or blow him up. Number two: anyone including the main character can die. This means you, Sid. I'm sorry, it's the final chapter. Number three: the past will come back to bite you in the ass! Whatever you think you know about the past, forget it." That's comforting to know.
The backdrop this time is the set of Hollywood film Stab 3 (another trilogy ho ho!), the third picture based on the best-selling exposee of superbitch Gale Weathers. Life starts imitating art starts imitating life when cast members start being slaughtered in the order that they die in the script.
With the police seemingly powerless to stop the bloodshed, Sidney, Gale and Dewey reluctantly join forces one final time to flush out the killer and to lay the ghosts of the past to rest, presuming that the all make it to the final reel in one piece.
If Return Of The Jedi, Jaws 3D, The Godfather Part III and Batman Forever taught us anything, it's that the third films in movie series are always poor imitations of their predecessors. Scream 3 is a pitiful excuse for celluloid, lacking even the most basic thrills and shocks (the scariest thing in the whole picture is Cox Arquette's disastrous hairdo).
Screenwriter Ehren Kruger, filling in for the wayward Kevin Williamson, floods the film with so many red herrings that it becomes impossible to guess the killer's identity or motivation. Re-watching Scream 3 (masochist that I am), I couldn't find a single cunningly concealed clue or pointer. So don't bother looking for something that isn't there.
The central trio have settled into their roles and sleepwalk through the film, looking almost as bored on screen as we feel after the first half hour. The supporting cast is one-dimensional and instantly forgettable, with the possible exception of Parker Posey as B-list starlet Jennifer Jolie who is so obsessed with her screen role as Gale that she thinks she is better than the real thing.
The final unmasking is like some awful live action take off of Scooby Doo, complete with convoluted explanation of why the killer has been such a naughty boy/girl. The Scream series has finally become the very thing it was created to mock: a brainless, clumsy slashathon. Who's laughing now?
