I want to be more loveable.
Who cares?
How can I make myself a more loveable person?
Hi
I was surprised. my part time always too busy to meet, emails me twice a year, part time friend for 30 years described me as a jealous and bitter man.
She forwarded a you tube video and said nice to hear from you and then in my reply to her, patchy email back, I said that her house, after the house improvements, would rival South Fork Ranch and that her job must be steady to undertake such an expense.
I wrote that because in the past she had changed jobs often and some of these jobs were for temporary stints that taking such a worthwhile task meant two thing; a nicer home and a little more job security. I often describe my life to her as it is but these mere observations, never that everybody has it in for me and I wish them a bad time.
However when my friend called me jealous and bitter and that I wished others had a tough time too. It made me think what if despite my best foot forward fair minded say it like it approach may be she's right. How do I reconcile myself and change my ways to be a considerate caring affectionate person?
I am 51 and I have been in the same job 30 years my family is my wife and our two boys 18 and 15. I have been stupid and racked up huge debts but me mange in a fashion. I guess I talk too directly and have a slight; know my level approach when dealing with people but am try to put myself across as a very fair person with my actions and words and I try to be consistent too. But I am old not much of a success mostly alone what can I do now to make my self a more loveable person?
Thanks
Bharat
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Other Problems
Bharat, first off, 60 contacts in 30yrs, is not in my oppinion a friendship. Why are you so bothered about what this lady thinks of you? & why are you wanting to meet up with her in the first place?. I think you was hoping for more, and are now upset only you know if that is correct. You sound as if you have self esteem problems, maybe caused by the debts you are in, have you thought about going bankrupt, it costs approx £400 to do this, & yes they take your belonging's cars, sterio, tv, etc. But it doesn't take long for you to build all that back up again, without having debts to worry about. The citizens advice bureau can advise if this is an option you can take, or there is a No you can ring in the BT telephone directory.
I have to say that i think you are very unhappy, have you got problems at home, can you not talk to your wife, or other member's of your family? & also i think you are very bored with your life. 51 is not old & maybe you need to LAUGH, once in a while. There is an element of self pity, only slight, but it will get worse if you dont TALK face to face with people. Change your job if possible, do new thing's, your family needs a strong man so find the strength to pull yourself out of what is going to become depression. Dont take any notice of the so called friend, block the emails, cut the tie. I dont think you need to change the direct approach when asked for your views, there is nothing wrong with being direct, as long as you can also take direct comments good or bad. Just change a few things in your life, has it ever occured to you that your wife might be very bored & unhappy, ask her, you might be suprised. All the best.
where the ****** do i go from here?
2 failed marriages,depression, cancer,criminal records,reads like a how not to live your life.
no money in debt 43 years old and still ****** clueless!
only one thing to do!!!!
write my ****** memoirs and hope some poor ****** out there reads it and learns something from it!
im destined not to ,i know now that the crap you read about if you try hard with determinatian and hard work youll succeed is just not true
if you succed you were meant to and the other millions of suckers running around like idiots workin thereselvs to death were destined to fail.
and theres ****** all you can do about it full stop!
which brings me to the only conclusion i can make ,someone else is in controll of your life not you! so go spend all your hard earned cash on self help books and theropy
if you want to but i promise you youll be back where you started in the end and on your death bed while your pondering why it all went wrong ,
take some comfort in the knoledge you didnt have a chance to start with.
optamists will say to you you can change! its never too late!, i say to you dont even ****** try.
****** em enjoy who you are ,stop trying to change, you are who you are and ****** anyone who tells you its wrong to be yourself,warts and all!!!
the only pleasure i get from life is watching people ,and knowing they wont succeed even tho they keep trying i laugh because iv been there and if you think im writting this ****** as a last ditch atempt to do something worthwhile your very wrong because the law of averages tells me i wont , so i write this as a way of sounding off .if you want to read it why should i care?? help yourself.
and where the ****** is the ****** spell check anyway? ah well this is how i think ,and this is how you get it!
i know your thinking this guy needs help!! , but your wrong the last thing on this ****** planet i need is some ****** with a good education,and mummy and daddy fully behind him in all he does telling me i have issues and no i havent been in theropy or ever will deep down i know my heart was allways be in the right place i might be screwed up but thats my lot and mine alone and in some sick way im proud of it, iv got this far without help ,on my own two feet no one to rely on no one to ask for help and no one watching my back.yeah i love me and wouldent change a ****** thing ! funny side)
You also say you have a wife and 2 boys. Why are you looking for approval from elsewhere. Shouldn't you be looking for that from your family? What do your family think of you?
To have been married long enough to have 2 boys 18 & 15 youv'e been doing something right.(Hopefully).
If you really want an opinion about your character ask your wife.
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