Future Mother-in-law problem
Who cares?
If you have a problem that you would like other members to help with, or if you would like to answer another reader's conundrum, then we would love to hear from you.Do you think this is fair?
I am eighteen, have no parents and share a flat with two other girls. I am getting married at the end of the year to an only son whose parents, naturally worship him. His mother thinks I am going to turn him against her, which is the last thing I want to do as I know what it is like not to have someone to whom you can go when you have problems.
We have been saving very hard to buy our own house and have just enough money left for furniture,so now we cannot have a big wedding as my fiance's mother wanted, but will be getting married in a Register office instead, which we do not mind in the least- no fuss, you see.
Well, my future mother-in-law says that if we get married in a Register office she will never forgive us and will not attend the wedding. When we try to explain to her that we can't afford it she just looks away. But somehow she has managed to convince my fiance that her way is right. She has sent sixty invitations to her friends whom we hardly ever see, and has arranged for a meal at a big hotel, but has not offered to help out with the money side as she says that is nothing to do with her. Do you think this is fair?
CommentsPlease login to leave a comment or report a post
Samaritans
The Samaritans provide confidential non-judgemental emotional support, 24 hours a day.
Depression Alliance
Are you in crisis or feeling desperate? Depression Alliance is the leading UK charity for people affected by depression.Submit your problem
Send your problem to mysnaps@uk.tiscali.comAdvertisement starts
Advertisement ends
Other Problems
Ask the doctor
Health worries, we have the information you need?
Find love
Find romance with your ideal partner in life.
Sex and relationships
Don't be embarrassed about sex.Advertisement starts
Advertisement ends
More Links Within This Section
- blog
- community awards
- competitions
- dating
- dieting
- discuss
- during the war
- forums
- genealogy
- horoscopes
- member galleries
- newsgroups
- photo service
- newsletter
- problem page
- quirky events
- quizzes
- scambusters
- star web chats
- sudoku
- webspace
- weekly quiz
- free credit report
- free fax to email
- low cost phone calls
- newsletters
- share portfolio
- webspace
- TalkTalk light graffiti
Tiscali Quicklinks. Please visit our Accessibility Page for a list of the Access Keys you can use to find your way around the site, skip directly to the main navigation, to the page content, or to more links within community.
- Sunday , November 22, 2009
- Make Tiscali my homepage
Page Footer
Access keys
You will need to use different key combinations in order to use access keys depending on your internet browser, find out which on our accessibility page.
- (0) Navigate to Accessibility page.
- (1) Navigate to Home page.
- (2) Navigate to My email.
- (3) Navigate to My Account.
- (4) Navigate to Site Map page.
- (5) Navigate to Contact us page.
- (6) Navigate to Members channel.
- (7) Navigate to Services channel.
- (8) Navigate to News & Info channel.
- (9) Navigate to Entertainment channel.
- ([) Skip down to the Primary navigation block.
- (]) Skip down to the more links within this section block.
- (=) Bypass all navigation and jump to the content.
- (x) Text only version of this page.
Get your priorities in order.
Your monster in law is your bfs problems and you are not to deal with it and defo not to put up with it, state it once to your bf no more, its not for disscussion he sorts it end of, if he don't hes puss- ified defo not a man who's vows are to honour and obey,(so that part of the marriage contract is already broken).
He full fills his vows before he takes them or don't go there, after all a promise made in church should be stronger than stone if not thats going to be the strength of your marriage anyway, personally not my choice.
If you want a new husband who still wearing nappies up to you, no one will sympathise with you after because you going into this knowing what mum inlaw is like.
How much value and respect you got for yourself, because if you have not got any for yourself you never going to get it of your mum in law, stand by your guns.
Who in the ****** does she think she is to dictate to you want she wants, personally i would not ever forgive her for emotional threatening and blackmailing me or trying to rail road my life.
Listen There are a lot more fish in the sea, put it down to experience and never ever go for a guy that unloads his baggage on you for you to carry.
Its his baggage why should you carry it, let him sort it out, if he cant stand up and defend the honour of some one he loves then don't expect a great deal out of him, jeremy kyle fodder.
I am a only child too.
I live alone in my parents flat, that I rent.
I work for my parents business.
I have to go to college to study, I failed two exams and have pass them, never mind the rest I take every month.
I can't live at home, because the police said so.
I crashed my best car and had to get driving lessons 70 miles away for two days.
I crashed my bike.
I recently took anger at my right hand on a old oak door. Ouch!
My mum had to make her own dress and cake.
I was in my mums belly when she getting married.
I I I, me me me. Its not you.
Rule 2. Never marry befor 28 years old. Before that you will lose all your savings any home you thought you had and get lumbered with the kids to boot. He's off with a bimbo.
Rule 3 Marry on a beach in some far flung place in a bikini. Why pay for strangers to eat and drink your savings away only to call you blind once its all over.
Rule 4. Keep your own bank account when opening a joint one. No woman should be totally dependant on any man.
Rule 5. Never give up your car. He will always need HIS car whenever you need it.
Rule 6. He might wear the trousers but you hold the belt buckle. Never let him forget that.
Rule 7. Major decisions have to be made by both equally. Just make sure he agrees with you.
Rule 8. Always make time for your friends together or individually just because you are married does not mean that your friends become redundant. Friends are a great anger release valve.
Rule 9. Have areas that are your and yours alone such as the garden and BBQ are his and the kitchen and Television are yours. It helps when Footie's on all day long
Rule 10.Always ask the in-laws for their advice on things. Then ignore it but they feel needed and so keeps the peace.
I have been married for 45 years so I think I can say that this advice really does work my dear. At eighteen get a job on a cruise ship sailing the world and live my dear you save every pound you earn and live the high life whilst doing it. Settle down when you have lived and learned and NOT BEFORE.
The last thing you need is a domineering mother in law. She will make your life a misery.
Unfortunately you are trying to marry an only son an typical of most only childern(especially boys) as far as their mothers are concerned their isn't a female on this earth good enough for their son.
You're stuck between the devil and the deep blue sea.
If you try to persuade your fiance that your way is best, his mother will hold it against you for the rest of your lives.
If you allow his mother to take over at this early stage in your young lives, she will be in charge until the day she dies.
Youv'e been given some good advice in the posts above, but how you deal with it is your responsibility.
The only advice I can offer is be strong, stand up for yourself, talk it over at length with your fiance. If he can't convince his mother what his wishes are. Dump him. He's a mummy's boy and always will be. You'll end up married to his mother as well as him.
PS why do you want to be getting married at 18. Life isn't a race you know. Theirs plenty time for marriage. Go out and enjoy yourself. Have a good time with your fiance. Do things together. go on holiday. Have a ball. If you're meant to be together you'll be together.
Good luck.
and hope his mother can give her love to you, and help you with the wedding, the best way she can,or just tell her to butt out,and stay away, if you are not good for her.
Page: 12