Future Mother-in-law problem

Right young lady! I take it you want an honest opinion? Well here goes. Your boyfriend is not a man, if he was he would tell his mother to butt out,(kindly of course). You are being manipulated & you know it, you say you dont have parent's! i can only assume that they have passed away, if this is the case then my heart goes out to you. Surely you must have some relatives who are willing to support you & back you up on what YOU WANT. I have to be honest with you, your marriage will not last five minutes with this boy, you will be left possibly with a child, to bring up by your self if of course his mother does not take the child/children, over as well as her son. Believe me you will lose all respect for your husband, because he will never go against his mother. Do you want to be married to the mother in law, who you will end up hating, you will blame her for everything, its your boy friend/husband who is in the wrong not her. He is not man enough yet to say "mum it's my life, please let me live it" you have lived your life, its my turn now. Please do not go ahead with your plans for marriage, why dont you wait 2/3 yrs.? what's the rush?. You probably think i am being to harsh, & yes maybe i am, I cant go into to much detail because of my child who is 29yrs, & also i dont want to upset her father who has only been back in contact with her for about 4years, & she worships him which i have encouraged. As you may have already guessed i too married a mummy's boy, we planed our child, my mother in law tried every trick in the book to take over my child, but it did not work. It caused so much stress & arguments with my husband, that i couldn't take it any more. I divorced him there was no respect left, & the love died, but i did wait until it had completly gone, i stupidly thought that it would come back but it does not. I have the T shirt. dont be the fool that i was, please wait until you are more mature & have lived a bit before going ahead with your plans. Just be happy with what you have now, go away have some fun, dont be so serious so young. Good luck! there is a massive world out there,go & explore it with your boyfriend at least his mother wont be there interfering. LAUGH together. PS i did not live off the state, i worked 2 jobs when my child was 2years. 4hrs in the morning & 8 hrs at night waitressing, as well as looking after a terminally ill relative, i was then 22yrs old, & loved life. take care look after you.

Do what i did dont have them there if they want to cause problems. Life goes on with out them. Good Luck.

I think, if you love this man, and he loves you, go ahead with your life, as it is up to you, just have your wedding
and hope his mother can give her love to you, and help you with the wedding, the best way she can,or just tell her to butt out,and stay away, if you are not good for her.

as a mother and mother in law I think I can understand both sides yours more than hers realy. She is frightened of losing her son and the control she has had over him in the past. Is there a father about could you speak to him calmly explaining the pressure it is putting on you as a couple. I know I would prefer my son to stand up to me as a mother and ask what I wanted and not be dictated to. Your boyfriend needs to bite the bullet and tell his mother that this is his and your day and you both would love to have her attend your wedding but on your terms. If she is intent on having a reception then make it clear that she must pay as your priorities extend after the wedding day into making a happy married life. won't be easy but familys never are and start as you mean to go on. Inside your own front door you can't hear her slagging you off any way. don't bend to her will be strong for both of you . he is afraid of hurting his mother but you will be his number one once you are married and they both have to accept it. hope this helps this is my first time on here, and I don't half go on dont I.

It is bullying. You and your future husband have decided to make the big committment to each other by getting married. This is the first test of the many that your marriage will be put to and you and your fiance must decide your position together and present a firm united front on this if you are to resist emotional blackmail of this sort. It is not totally clear from your post whether you or your fiance has ordered anything. If your mother-in-law has placed the order for the meal she is responsible for payment. You could write to the hotel to ensure they understand you have not ordered anything and will not pay for anything arranged by others. If you have been bullied into ordering a meal you cannot afford, cancel it, if you have paid a deposit do whatever you can to minimise your loss. Invitations sent out by you future mother-in-law without you consent are equally her responsibility. You could try talking the whole thing through in the calmest manner possible. It may be she is frightened of losing her son and is worried about the future. You have already shown prudence in budgetting so stick to your guns and do not be persuaded to get involved in debts that can put enormous pressures on marriage.
Good luck