I am worried about my mother

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I am worried about my mother

I am worried about my mother. We are extremely close and we lost my father a few years ago.I live with mum and my 2 grown up brothers. we get on well. My mum has smoked for a number of years and tends to drink alcohol (approx 3-4 + drinks) in the evenings. Mostly she will drink a spirit with a mixer if she is not working the next day. I think she does this to relax. I have tried to help by offering other ways of occupying her time but I feel awful that I am picking on her. She puts up with a lot from me and will take what I say in her stride, but I feel awful and would hate to upset her. I love her so so much and want her to be happy. She said she knows I'm right but doesn't seem to stop. I mean, what is safe? am I overreacting?
THANK YOU X X

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Added: 7 April 2008 13:10

Tan says:

Its good that you are worried about your mum but also you have to think of yourself and all this worrying won't help you. Try Sitting down and talking to your mum and just express your concerns (nicely) but at the end of the day she is an adult and she is responsible for her own life. Hope it gets better.

Added: 3 April 2008 18:13

ray says:

leave your mother alone let her spend her time doing what she likes.smoking and drinking a few glasses of what she likes will mae her feel a lot better.

Added: 25 March 2008 23:17

Raine says:

Your mum sounds likes she is suffering in silence, perhaps instead of talking to someone how she feels about her and your loss, she is taking refuge in the drinking. Smoking is just a habit. Perhaps you should take a step back from the nagging and tell her how you feel about her, and how much she means to you and how much you hurt. This would probably allow her to come out of the dark pit and see someone else that could do with comforting and that she is not alone. Do something together and show her there is a world out there that cares and needs her. It sounds as though she sees her quiet times lonely and empty and could do with a light (family) to guide her. Don't be proud come foward and help her through your family pains and she will help you. May be speak to your GP and he/she could guide you to the right person to speak to for advise in helping your mum. Good Luck.

Added: 25 March 2008 00:52

kurt says:

primrose hit the nail on the head, hey i like you, your good with words, as in affectionate.

Added: 24 March 2008 19:11

PRIMROSE says:

Your mother is doing what a lot of people do. Drinking regularly has become a habit with her,and it fills up what is probably a lonely time for her without your father. Does she have many friends? so she dosn`t have to just sit in on her own and drink to maybe block out the pain. Encourage her to join a club or something similar, maybe she could take up some hobby. You can encourage her but it`s not your responsibility alone to act like a parent to her. Get support from others in the family, hopefully there is someone you can confide in about the situation. : )

Added: 19 March 2008 15:54

Lucy says:

It's great that you're worrying about your Mum, but if she enjoys a few drinks and a smoke in evenings, then that's really up to her. Maybe she doesn't want to do anything in the evening, especially if she's getting on a bit.