• Make eye contact with one person when you first join the group, making sure you look like you are happy to be joining in.
• If the group stops talking when you join them, introduce yourself by giving your first name only and say whom you work with, and speaking slowly. You could also shake hands at this stage.
• Only introduce yourself if the conversation has stopped.
• If you have an unusual name, offer a 'hook' so that people can easily remember it.
• When the person says their name, repeat it back.
• Concentrate hard and listen carefully.
• If you don't hear a name clearly, ask for it to be repeated. Concentrate and listen.
• If the group has invited you to introduce yourself, now is also good time to shake hands with the group.
• When shaking hands with people in a group do so slowly - don't rush the encounter as the handshake might be a poor one and will not leave the right impression.
• If they carry on talking when you join them, look like you are enjoying listening to the conversation and eventually join in.
• Join in by using facial expressions and body language.
• Don't stand there like a dummy sulking because they haven't asked you who you are or pay no attention to the conversation.
• Stay enthusiastic, fresh and interesting. If you aren't, why should they be interested in you?
• Find common ground so you can connect quickly.
• Have a list of questions ready in your mind as a way of stimulating conversation.
• Remember, first impressions count. It is all about lasting impressions and enjoying yourself!

Why you should leave a gap in the group

• People like space; many are not comfortable with encounters that are too close.
• When joining a group, leave a gap to allow others to join in or to leave the group.
• If someone fills the gap, create another one.

The following things are seriously bad form:

• Cutting across a conversation.
• Joining a group and then immediately changing the subject to suit your needs.
• Looking bored and frustrated when someone else is talking.
• Ridiculing others.
• Ignoring someone in the group, leaving them nothing to add to the conversation.

When not to shake hands with people you meet

• If the conversation carries on when you join the group.
• If there are more than four people in the group (unless the whole group is keen to 'greet you').
• If it is not the accepted cultural thing to do. A good rule of thumb is, if a hand is not offered to you, hold back and assess the situation.

Finding the common ground

Many conversations dry up in the first few minutes because we fail to find common ground quick enough:

• If possible, ask the group to introduce themselves to you first.
• Once they have said who they are, talk about someone you know in a similar profession. This will look as though you are thinking and considering what they have said.
• Make use of your knowledge about their profession and make a positive statement about it.
• Ask a provocative question about that profession - but do not insult the person!
• Make sure the tone of your voice is enquiring - even playful!
• Find out why you are at the same event.

When to make your move

• All conversations have a natural rise and fall, so wait until the fall and then make your excuses to leave.
• If the group is still chatting but you want to leave, smile politely, gesture your need to move away, and do so.
• If someone comes to join the group and this breaks the conversation, offer your thanks to the group and move away.
• If there are just two of you and the conversation is not going well or has finished, stand slightly to one side of the other person; make eye contact with someone passing by, smile at them, and invite them to join you. Shortly afterwards, make your excuses and leave.

How to leave a group professionally

It is perfectly okay to move around at these events, but you should take your leave in a very professional manner - you could lose a few brownie points by doing this badly.

Say why you are leaving - some acceptable reasons are given below.

• I wish to continue circulating. Thank you, it has been most interesting.
• I would like to introduce you to X as I think they may be a useful contact.
• Could I introduce you to someone as I do need to carry on circulating.
• This has been very interesting. Thank you.
• There are other people I wish to meet and I appreciate your time.
• I will be in contact with you later this week. Thank you.
• I shall expect your call later... really looking forward to speaking to you again.
• Please excuse me.

However...

• Make sure you do not leave someone feeling rejected or unimportant.
• Shake hands with the person/group, repeating names, if appropriate.
• State if you are going to follow up, when and how (email or telephone).
• If you have not done so, give out your card (again, only if appropriate).